When we are kids, one of the things we think will never change is the availability of our best friend. Her home served as an escape when you had a fight with your mom, or when that boy said he didn't like you back. You knew you could pop over any time to watch a movie, or just lie on her bed, talking about the enigma that is the middle school boy.
You swore by uteruses before duderuses. Nothing could break the two of you up, especially not a dumb boy. As kids, we think it will be that way forever.
The older we get, though, the more things change. We grow up, mature and date. We enter romantic relationships that might take slight precedence over friendships. Before you know it, your bestie might be sharing a roof with her boyfriend, and you might be sharing the title of "best friend" with a guy.
This is a normal stage of friendship that everyone has to go through. Here are four ways your bestie bond will be tested:
1. You suddenly have to worry about overstaying your welcome.
Before your best friend moved in with her boyfriend, you could show up at her place with a bottle of wine and stay up gossiping into the wee hours of the morning. But now, you have another person to consider: her boyfriend. You are now in his space.
It's important to remember that he lives there too. While your bestie may get a kick out of your 3 am drunken Fetty Wap sing-alongs, her romantic roomie may not. This also holds true for the uncontrollable sobbing, meltdowns, angry rants, high-pitched screaming, etc. You get the point.
2. You have to pencil in bestie time.
Thanks to jobs, events and other time-sucking things, it can be tough to schedule time to hang out with anyone. But now that your best friend is living with her boyfriend, don't be surprised if she wants to spend her free time at home with him. This will make seeing her more difficult.
But don't be discouraged. While you both may have different priorities now, you have at least one in common: keeping your friendship alive. Even if a few weeks go by without bestie time, sending a few text messages here and there will keep your friendship solid. It will assure you that you both still care about the friendship.
Absence definitely makes the friendship stronger. Plus, once you finally get to hang out with her, you'll have so much more to talk about. You will value your time even more.
3. Your friend and her boyfriend are a package deal.
Don't be surprised if her boyfriend tags along on your hangout time unannounced. While it's super sweet and normal for her to want to spend shared time with the two most important people in her life, she might not realize "Let's grab drinks" is code for "girl time."
If it gets to a point where you are getting zero one-on-one time, just let her know that you value that time with her. Explain that being the third wheel sucks. Communication is key.
4. Double dates are guaranteed.
We've already established that being the third wheel is no fun. But you can't blame your friend for wanting you and her boyfriend in the same place. That is why double dates are the way to go. Going on a double date with your best friend, her boyfriend and your significant other can be really fun if the chemistry among the four of you is right.
You get to spend time with both your friend and SO without making anyone feel left out. There really is nothing better than having all your favorite people in one place.