You hear these kinds of excuses all the time from astrology enthusiasts: “I can't help it that I always show up drunk. I'm a Pisces!”
Nothing annoys the astrology skeptics more. You can't just write off responsibility for your actions based on zodiac signs, they'll protest.
I hate to agree with the non-believers, but they're right. The IRS doesn't care if you're an Aries, they just want to get paid all the money you owe.
But there are a few common mistakes specific to the individual zodiac signs, and the sooner you find out what those might be, the sooner you can start to let those excuses fly. Have fun, kids!
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Using too many "I" statements
Aries is the youngest of the zodiac signs, the little babies of the zodiac. And like babies, they tend to view themselves as the center of the universe. Their conversational ability tends to reflect the belief that the world revolves around them.
They aren't trying to be self-centered. It's just that they don't understand how to connect without comparing your experience with their own. Aries will wait for a break in they conversation to jump in with his or her own story, not noticing the audience's eyes glazing over with boredom.
Aries is the friend who will let you crash on her couch when you've been evicted from your apartment but won't stop saying she knows exactly how you feel because she felt the same way when she got kicked out of her favorite movie.
… Nope, Aries. Not the same thing.
Taurus (April 20th to May 20th): Touching strangers
Taurus is a feeling sign. Because they are ruled by the planet Venus, they tend to conduct themselves in a Venusian way: amicable and affectionate. They feel very connected to everyone and everything around them.
This outlook is wonderful, but it gives Taurus a tendency to be overly casual. To be frank, they'll touch people. Not in a creepy way, although touching a stranger is more often than not considered to be creepy.
They're the kind of people who will walk up behind a person at the bar and put a hand on his or her shoulder or waist as if they know them. Then, when the person reacts like they've been touched by a stranger, Taurus will feel genuinely confused as to why they're upset.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Forgetting why they got mad
Gemini is the sign of the twins, meaning they have a duality to their personality. With male Geminis like Bob Dylan, this duality manifests as having several different personas, and with female Geminis, two distinct personalities.
The trouble with having multiple personalities is the amnesia that follows the switch-over between them. Geminis, especially female Geminis, may flip out angrily over something and scare everyone around them, then switch back to their sweet side and forget what they were mad about.
It's very confusing for Gemini, and can be downright scary for everyone else.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Forgetting to get mad
Cancer is one of the water zodiac signs, and as the saying goes, “Still waters runs deep.” Often, when something very upsetting happens to a Cancer, outsiders will barely be able to tell they were hurt.
That is until later, usually when they get home, where they feel most safe. May God have mercy upon the ones who live with them, because they'll be the ones mopping the tears off the floor.
Cancer won't even understand why they're crying until after they purge all that emotional energy.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): Being the loudest laugher in the restaurant
Rambunctious, fun-loving Leos will be the first to tell you they're “the best of the zodiac signs." Somehow it's hard to hold their pride in themselves against them, because they wear it so well. They are always in the spotlight, and they aren't ashamed to be.
As friends, Leos are like a walking birthday party, and the people around them can't help but feel proud to have an invitation.
Leos are also incredibly polite, mostly because of how much they hate rudeness in others. The only area in which they might let their impeccable manners slide is when they're in a fit of laughter.
When they find something really funny, they forget where they are and will laugh so hard and so loud that they can't help but draw all the attention to themselves. Woe to the couple next to them at the restaurant trying to sign divorce papers.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Unnecessarily sharing random trivia
Ruled by the planet Mercury, which is the planet of information and communication, Virgos are a sponge for information -- including information they don't need. They almost always have a surprising amount of trivial knowledge stored in their brains. They share that information in conversation with others as a substitute for emotional intelligence.
There are, of course, people who appreciate knowing who holds the world record for long-distance running, but often poor Virgos wind up sounding like know-it-alls with nothing personal to add to a conversation.
If they'd use their knowledge to help them win Trivia Night at their local bar, they'd have much better luck, socially.
Libra (September 23 – October 22): Waving back at people who aren't waving at you
Libras are so friendly, you almost have to love them. All they want is someone to hang with. They are the walking personification of the well-loved children's book “Are You My Mother?”, constantly seeking a companion.
But sometimes, just sometimes, they come off a little desperate. They know a lot of people, and they have many friends, but Librans need someone to hang with all the time, or a part of them feels incomplete.
They aren't the type to attend a party alone, but if they ever walk into a party solo, they're the first people to accidentally wave at someone who is not waving at them. This makes them hyper-aware of their own solitude, and will promptly lead them to want to throw themselves out the nearest window.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Inappropriately correcting people
Scorpios aren't often wrong, but their timing is. If there's one thing they know how to do well, it's disrupt the happy flow of conversation by laying down some know-it-all attitude.
They aren't trying to be rude. It just feels wrong to them to let a mistake slide. They feel they're being helpful and restoring balance to the universe by sharing the truth.
There are times when it's appropriate to correct someone, but that time is not when your friend is excitedly discussing her unrealistic weight loss goals a few weeks before her wedding.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Being overly argumentative in a debate
There is a belief out there that debating can be a fun, intellectually stimulating activity; Sagittarians will change that belief. They'll also be happy to change any beliefs you might have that they happen to disagree with.
Someone who stumbles into a debate with a Sagittarius may be incredibly taken aback and probably more than annoyed when Sagittarius climbs immediately up into their mouth and down their throat in response to an innocent opinion.
They can't help themselves. They're warriors for truth, and they fight to the death.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Talking to people like they work for you
Capricorns are natural leaders. They're the CEOs of zodiac, and they have a natural tendency to talk down to people because they think everyone is incompetent. They aren't always wrong.
However, look at how far Donald Trump has gotten gaining the support of idiots by meeting them on their level. I'm not encouraging anyone to adopt a Trump-like attitude, but when it comes to Capricorn, learning to adopt a tone of equality could be a more successful strategy.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Failing to introduce people
Aquarius is a sign that recognizes the interconnectedness of all human beings, yet somehow feels deeply set apart from them all. They're like aliens visiting earth, observing the human race as a collective unit but not understanding our customs.
They'll bring someone along to a party and when they arrive, they'll abandon their friend and wander off on their own -- then they'll be annoyed if you say anything about it.
Aquarians are annoyed by anything that could be construed as an obstruction to their personal independence.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Having your phone at 1 percent constantly
Pisces is continually out-to-lunch, and they hate to have their daydreaming interrupted by concerns of the real world. They may use their phone constantly as a way of avoiding reality with video games, social media or any number of photography apps.
They never have their chargers on them (because it's hard to think ahead when you're thinking beyond) and they are consistently scrambling to get that phone charged. Texts go unanswered, calls are left unreturned and people get upset.
I would encourage Pisces to try as best as they can to explain to people not to take any of it personally, but to also buy one of those transportable chargers. Yes, they'll lose it, but they can always buy another one.