Tequila and I share a special relationship. It’s not quite as relaxing as a glass of wine, and it’s not quite as cliché as vodka.
It’s not as old school as gin, and it’s not quite as standard as a beer.
Tequila is the big winner. It’s what you grab for when it’s really time to celebrate. Today is one of those occasions.
Today, we grab the Patron, and we call it a party.
Today is your big day, tequila, and we are all looking forward to raising a glass in your honor.
Even though our relationship may not always be perfect, there are 16 reasons I hate to love you and love to hate you.
1. Love: I love how you can make the night so much better.
Hate: I hate how much you can make the next day an absolute nightmare.
2. Love: I love the way you taste when you’re inside of a margarita.
Hate: I hate when you come in a shot glass, especially when the bar is out of limes.
3. Love: I love how much of you I could drink when I was in college.
Hate: I hate how much I cannot drink of you now, after college.
4. Love: I love the way you can inspire some of the best dance parties.
Hate: I hate how you can bring out embarrassing dance moves that only seemed great at the time.
5. Love: I love how you have the ability to make everything happier and funnier.
Hate: I hate how you have the ability to make me cry for God-knows-what reason.
6. Love: I love how confident you make me, like a great wingwoman.
Hate: I hate looking in the mirror the next morning to see my confidence may or may not have been an illusion.
7. Love: I love how you can bring so many people together.
Hate: I hate how you can make everyone lose each other.
8. Love: I love how well you pair yourself with tacos.
Hate: I hate how you can make me eat a whole quesadilla to myself.
9. Love: I love how you taste even more when you are free.
Hate: I hate when I think I have unlimited funds to buy you for all of my friends.
10. Love: I love that you can take the pain away from wearing heels.
Hate: I hate how you make me 10 times clumsier in them.
11. Love: I love how you usually end up with some great stories.
Hate: I hate how you usually end up with some unbelievably crazy stories.
12. Love: I love when you are quality, go down smooth and don’t require a chaser.
Hate: I hate if you come from a plastic bottle and force me to make that squirming face of pure torture after taking you.
13. Love: I love how you make me flirtier than my normal self.
Hate: I hate how you trick my eyes into seeing things not as they are.
14. Love: I love how you make me bolder, braver and a temporary risk taker.
Hate: I hate the things you made me think were a good idea.
15. Love: I love how you are actually really f*cking good for me.
Hate: I hate how I never really think that in the morning.
16. Love: I love that you basically have your own holiday.
Hate: I hate that it only comes once a year.
Happy Cinco de Mayo to my dear friend, tequila. Cheers to our love-hate relationship.