I didn't know pooping was weird or embarrassing until I was 16 years old.
I remember it like it was yesterday. We were sitting out on the quad during the 15-minute break between our B and C block classes, when one of my friends realized she desperately had to go to the bathroom. I know this because she literally said, "Ugh, I desperately have to go to the bathroom right now."
I gave her a confused look and said, "Why don't you just go to the bathroom then?"
She looked back at me, like I was some sort of disgusting, horrible monster, and said, "I have to poop! I can't go NOW when everyone's out of class. There are going to be so many other people in the bathroom!"
I was still confused and asked, "So you're worried there will be a line...?"
Finally, she explained to me what she meant, like I was some infant alien who had just been introduced to planet Earth.
"No, Candice, I don't want other girls hearing me take a massive dump in the Senior Hall bathroom. That's EMBARRASSING."
Oh. OK, so now I understood. Apparently, my way-too-loving, way-too-open-about-literally-everything parents had forgotten to pass that little memo along to me. As far as I was concerned, everyone pooped, and it was no big deal.
Even though I was starting to understand where she was coming from, I still wanted to help my friend. I mean, this was ridiculous. She had to go to the bathroom, and she was going to get a stomachache if she didn't go.
So, I felt it was my personal duty to offer a helping hand.
"OK, how about I go with you, and we'll talk to each other so loudly through the stalls that nobody will hear you poop!"
She accepted my offer, and from then on, whenever a friend had any sort of pooping problem, I was their go-to savior.
I also happen to be a Cancer. What does that have to do with literally anything? Well, according to a new infographic put together by our friends over at Mr. Rooter, as a Cancer, I'm a "Mama Bear" in the bathroom.
This means I'm probably going to be the friend more "timid bathroom goers" turn to when it comes to needing an escort to the bathroom. Spooky accurate.
So, what kind of bathroom goer are you? Find your zodiac sign on this infographic and learn anything and everything there is to know about your pooping habits: