Lifestyle

Woman Live Tweets The Worst Tinder Date Of All Time While At A Bar

by Connor Toole

I have a theory that in 20 years we're going to view Tinder the same way we view nuclear technology in the 1950s: It could be used for good, but we had no idea how to use it correctly and we'll be dealing with the long-term effects for years to come.

There's really no one person to blame: Humans are notoriously narcissistic and self-centered, and Tinder merely makes it easier for people to make a connection based on almost nothing but their looks.

This is fantastic news for attractive people with terrible personalities, as they can disguise the fact that they're bad people so much easier than previously possible.

For example, I'm willing to bet the man on this date live tweeted by @CarrieMantha Tuesday night would have a bit of trouble getting someone to go out with him if he didn't have a screen to hide behind.

Covering politics, religion and family drama sprinkled with not-so-subtle racism, he provided the perfect guide for anyone who wants to know what to avoid saying on the first date (and, if we're being honest, most of the dates after that).

Sitting next to the most obnoxious Tinder couple ever. Dude is a 40-something trust fund baby, girl seems normal but inexplicably into him — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Dude: "So I said 'I don't have time to wait; I have a biz to run.'" Girl: "What biz is that?" Dude: "the business of enjoying my life" — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Dude just casually admitted it's his 3rd Tinder date OF THE DAY. Girl seems strangely amused, couple on the other side hilariously appalled — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Nothing spices up a date like a child you forget to mention beforehand

Oh God, he just said "Theoretically I should be providing for my daughter, but really my parents do that." Girl looks slightly confused — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Apparently his 3-Tinder record today is marred with an * because he saw the girl come in, decided she wasn't as cute as her pic & snuck out — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
He's giving a rundown on what was wrong with prior Tinder dates. One girl was from Alabama and just wanted to watch FB all day (the horror!) — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"And this one girl ate AN ENTIRE DESSERT before the date was over AND asked for a bite of mine." (Sadly, I am now officially not his type) — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"I don't JUST fly around being a socialite, I also run a fund. I'm a serious investor." I assumed all serious investors were also socialites — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

He never claimed to be a good investor

Girl: "When did you become an investor?" Dude: "I've basically always been one" Girl: "What do you invest in? Dude: "Whatever I want" — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
You guys, HE'S SWIPING THROUGH TINDER WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. I think he might actually be an addict. Appears to be all right-swipes. — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Dude: "You like fighter planes? I know a lot about fighter planes" Girl: "Were you in the military?" Dude: "No I just like fighter planes" — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Tinder dude just loudly referred to Obama as "the Trojan horse of Islam." Impressively synchronized choking-on-drink by couple next to him — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

I'm surprised he didn't blame Obama

Girl: "Have you been to Africa?" Dude: "I used to go on safari with my family, but that's how you get ebola - eating lion brains & stuff." — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Tinder Dude: "I lead a really healthy lifestyle. I take a lot of naps and smoke a lot of weed." And, he's totally free from Ebola to boot. — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Oh yes. He's considering having someone build an app. Wait for it...Uber for dog walkers. Tweet me if you want in on the round. No cap, obvi — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"I've never done any drugs that aren't socially acceptable. I mean, I did snowcaps back in the day but whatever." Snowcaps? — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Dude complaining that his brother is trustee of his mom's estate & won't release her money. "It's family money, it's not like it's hers" Wow — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"Everyone knows I'm the best investor in the family. Two of my brothers already spent their entire inheritance." #lowbar — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Guns don't kill people. Derelicts kill people.

"I only have guns because all these derelicts out there have guns. And because they're fun." He is packing in the topics for a 1st date... — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Oh lord... "Do you have any like old samurai swords that have been in your family for centuries?" (Girl is Asian) #cringing — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
"I have a huge wine collection if you want to see it. I hardly show it to any of my Tinder dates." #whitestthingsyoucansay — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
We're back on foreign policy... "These ISIS guys are already in the city. They're driving cabs everywhere." #hideyourkidshideyourwife — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014
Date appears to be ending unceremoniously kids, but good news: I've talked the bartender into alerting me when Mr. Tinder comes in next. — Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Citations: A Woman Live-Tweeted An Excruciatingly Cringey Tinder Date She Heard In A Bar (Buzzfeed)