Lifestyle

What Does Your Favorite Nail Polish Color Say About You?

by Jamie LeeLo
Walt Disney Studios

We're a little under a month into 2016, and you know what that means: It's time to figure out what color you would be if you were a nail polish once and for all!

Based on our foolproof, very scientific and highly-complex testing system, we are prepared to help you crack the code.

Directions

1. Pick your favorite color and/or style from the chart below 2. Find the letter description that matches your color 3. Reveal your destiny

A. The Eighth Kardashian

Color: Matte Bronze

Description: You will never shine as bright as Kim or Khloé or Kourtney or Kris or Kendall or Kylie… but MAYBE brighter than Rob. Poor Rob.

Where to Wear It: On your couch, Sundays 9 pm EST.

B. Bloody Mary

Color: Brownish Red

Description: You're an alcoholic and very cool about it. This color matches the Bloody Mary you're drinking right now.

Where to Wear It: Brunch and/or the bathroom floor.

C. Kale Kolor

Color: Dark Green

Description: Sorry you hate all good things in life. LOL, JK JK JK, OMG you love nutrition, we know.

Where to Wear It: Soul Cycle.

D. Hot Line Blink

Color: Sparkly, Hot Pink

Description: We don't have to tell you this sparkly, hot pink is exactly the way to a hip-hop artist's heart. It is ideal for finding a husband.

Where to wear It: Da club.

E. Hillary Clinton Loves Sex

Color: Navy Blue

Description: This sultry, deep navy says you're a woman of the world. You have a scandal or two under your belt and you're not afraid to use them. It's also kind of grey, which we think means there's an old lady joke in here somewhere.

Where to Wear It: The Oval Office or just a normal office, depending.

F. Rooooarrrrange

Color: Reddish Orange

Description: This color is a fiery reddish orange because you're a fiery basket case, like a lion or something else that roars. (Full disclosure: This color is mostly an excuse for our writers to use the wordplay “Rooooarrrrange.”)

Where to Wear It: Everywhere, kind of like a warning flag.

G. Time To Call An Uber

Color: Metallic Black

Description: This color is reminiscent of the wee hours of the night when the rest of the world has gone to bed and you're stranded with no cash in the East Village after an epic karaoke marathon.

Where to Wear It: Stranded with no cash in the East Village after an epic karaoke marathon.

H. Gluten Free

Color: Pale-ish Off White

Description: You're the second best thing since sliced bread. And by second best we mean the actual worst.

Where to Wear It: Weight Watchers meetings.

I. Hello Kitty

Color: Hello Kitty

Description: It's Hello Kitty.

Where to Wear It: Japan.