On Thursday, Pope Francis threw down the gauntlet by claiming GOP front-runner (and costume-less Teletubby) Donald Trump "is not a Christian" because of his plans to build a wall and deport immigrants:
A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian. This is not the gospel.
Donald Trump, in another display of his opinion that literally no one is above being word-attacked, responded to the pope's remarks by essentially saying ISIS was going kill him because he isn't on his side:
If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS' ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been president.
Yeah, you know you're sounding presidential when you begin talking about yourself in the third person. You know, like Bane.
In the end, Trump explained away the pope's remarks by basically saying "He's only saying that because Mexico was just talking sh*t about me."
It's true, the pope had just come from a five-day trip to Mexico -- where, sources tell us, Mexico was, like, constantly making up total f*cking lies about Trump and telling everyone he gave Venezuela a hand job at prom.
The pope hasn't yet responded to Trump's low-key death threats, but I thought I'd help him out with some options for sick burns.