One of my favorite parts about the Internet is that you can click on a random link, stumble down a rabbit hole you didn't know existed and come out three hours later knowing more about softcore pornography in the Victorian era than any person should.
I had this happen to me the other day when I was clicking with reckless abandon and found myself staring at a tree with a butt, an image that filled me with an inordinate amount of joy and happiness when you consider the object that inspired it.
I swear it wasn't sexual.
I couldn't help but wonder if this was a common occurrence or an unprecedented biological discovery, and you can only imagine how ecstatic I was when I discovered the Internet is filled with trees with junk in the trunk.
However, while browsing a lot of these pictures, I noticed some uncanny similarities to something that, because I work on the Internet, I've spent plenty of time staring at in the past: Kim Kardashian's butt.
I put the pictures side-by-side to test my theory. I refuse to apologize for any of this.
At first I thought it was just a mere coincidence.
After all, there are billions of trees in the world.
It's only natural some of them would resemble one of the more iconic derrières of our time.
But at what point does coincidence end and a pattern begin?
Is this the work of nature... or something more advanced?
Could it be a bonsai enthusiast determined to bring his work to a larger stage?
Perhaps it's a prolific artist making a statement on the realtionship between nature and human consumption.
Of course, it would be foolish to ignore the most obvious suspect: the aliens who live on the planets orbiting her behind.
Nature is truly marvelous.