The Super Bowl is not the place for a cheap date.
It would take a truly dedicated fan to want to shell out the cash.
But even if someone had the money, is it worth it?
As I think of how many things could be purchased for the ticket price makes the idea of a party in Santa Clara, California pretty worthless.
The price of a ticket depends on the seat. Obviously, a ticket in the VIP section at midfield costs more than a lot of new cars, but the cheap seats provide the least value.
For the sake of an exercise in madness, consider what could be purchased for the price of a mid-range ticket at approximately $6,000.
Also, if you’re coming in from another state, consider spending at least another $1,000 to get to the game and stay in a hotel.
So, let’s call it a $7,000 experience, more or less.
1. You could buy 70 Cam Newton jerseys.
For a slightly cheaper price and perhaps a better chance for bragging rights, you could buy 87 Von Miller jerseys.
It's worth more because you won't look as half as cool as either of those guys, even if you're at the game.
2. You could cover all of your cell phone needs for the next half decade.
Consider you could buy 10, 128 GB iPhone 6s.
The entire row of fans with you can take advantage of the fab Wi-Fi at Levi's Stadium.
3. You could buy 500 large pizzas from Guido's.
What more needs to be said?
Well, more only in terms of you treat me to the pizza, and I will let you win at chess.
4. You could take a real trip.
A 14-day East African Safari costs the same price of going to the Super Bowl.
Why go to Santa Clara for only one day?
5. You could buy 100,000 business cards.
Sounds like a good idea for Peyton Manning's next career move.
In fact, you could pay close to half of the start up costs in a down payment for opening your own business.
A business would at least bring hope of a return on the investment.
After the big game, you fly home with a ticket stub and a memory. If your team loses, that’s an even heavier loss.
6. Considering returns on the investment, you could upgrade the energy efficiency of your home and also pay the next five years of utility bills.
In fact, you could remodel your entire home by replacing the roof and the floor, buy all new energy efficient appliances, install solar panels and never pay another energy bill again.
You'd probably even get a considerable amount back from contributing extra power to the grid.
7. You could take 10 credit hours of the online MBA program at Washington State.
8. If you think the Super Bowl is a great party, try having a potluck at your house after you build a wine cellar for about $4,000, and add the refrigeration unit for another $3,000.
Move the plasma into the wine cellar, and that will cover most costs for the party because everyone will be bringing food and wine to your house.
9. Or, you could buy tickets to every concert on Guns N' Roses' tour schedule and afford travel expenses for the same price as a Super Bowl ticket.
10. You could buy a Hi-Fi Society membership to Radio Boise, zip-line passes to Treefort and have a Super Bowl-sized banquet for you and five of your best friends.
Now you know where my biases really lie, but hey, that’s a year’s worth of entertainment for five people at the cost of one day’s entertainment for one person.
Your imagination is your only limitation to what you could do instead of going to the Super Bowl.
Pretty much the only thing that would be more expensive would be a trip into outer space.
One thing is certain, you will see me in outer space before you see me at the Super Bowl.