The Hot Mom is a staple of high school fantasies everywhere, but most people (Stifler excluded) are forced to keep it exactly that: a fantasy.
The rapidly changing hormones of high schoolers means it's normally a good idea to wait until it's a little closer to prom before picking out your date, but Twitter user @AnthonyJPinnisi decided there was only one woman he wanted to escort him: his friend's mom.
He texted her his proposal, and while he was initially met with some resistance, his slick negotiating skills paid off in the long run.
I don't know any of the parties involved, and for all I know, this could have been a well-orchestrated ploy to exploit the hopes and dreams of horny teenagers (and former horny teenagers) around the world to boost his follower count.
Regardless of the actual motivation, Pinnisi posted the text on Twitter (along with three pictures of his potential date) and asked the Internet to do him a solid (or 500,000 solids, to be specific). The Internet responded in kind.
The tweet had more than 75,000 retweets before he deleted it earlier today.
If you thought he was cool based on the initial tweet, you're probably going to be a little disappointed by the explanation.
My school admin asked me to take the tweet down sorry to let everyone down — TONE (@AnthonyJPinnisi) January 8, 2015
Regardless, you have to respect him for getting as far as he did in the first place -- especially when his potential date looks the way she does.
He tried. He just didn't try hard enough.