Dedicated Teen Tracks His Masturbation Patterns For 3 Straight Months

Reddit user KarlRyker, 18, apparently had a lot of time on his hands this summer (and a lot of a second thing on his hands) because he was able to find the time to perform a long and complex experiment.

He decided to keep track of how many times he masturbated, how long the sessions lasted, where he watched the porn and more!

He clearly took careful notes because he supplied the world with graphs and statistics delineating how and when he f*cks himself each day.

He claims to have jerked off only 45 times in June, but don't worry, he was more ambitious c(l)ocking in at over 70 in July.

Like any recent high school graduate, he states a clear thesis sentence.

Very professional, sir.

Then, he takes a look at his duration stats for the whole summer.

Yes, he jerked off for 68 minutes at one point. Looking at this graph it appears his longest session happened on his final day of the experiment, so I guess he wanted to end with a bang.

I would say jerking off for more than an hour straight (and he swears he was masturbating for 90 percent of that time) verges into the territory of self-harm.

Apparently, he doesn't drink, or smoke or date (right now), which explains so, so much.

I'm just curious what happened on those four days with no jerking off? Was he sitting in bed with ice on his genitals?

OK, this kind of makes sense to me, though.

Tuesdays just aren't very sexy. And hump day is just 24 hours away.

His stats show 92 percent of the time he used porn to masturbate, and I'm assuming the other 8 percent of the time he jerked off while looking at all his jerk off statistics.

The emoji at the end of this entry kills me.

Citations: 18-Year-Old Guy Graphs 3 Months of Masturbation, and It's a Lot (Cosmopolitan)