I recently tweeted my thought that social media sites should issue an “Are you an ignorant assh*le?” test before allowing anyone to create an account.
While it was, initially, a joke, I began to consider the positive potential outcomes of such a test. And I realized it’s something that should be implemented immediately.
Because I feel so strongly this type of test should become part of the registration process for any and all social media networks, I’ve gone ahead and done Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. a huge favor and written the test below.
So, are you an ignorant assh*le on social media?
1. Do you...
A) ... simply accept what others say without doing any research or thinking of your own?
B) ... form your own opinions through research, thought and some form of reasoning?
2. Do you use your personal religious beliefs to justify hate, judgment and/or oppression?
A) Yes, as a devout religious person, it is my job to hate and judge all who believe differently. I think there’s actually a Bible verse somewhere that says something to the extent of, “Hate all who sin differently than thou.”
B) No, I prefer to refrain from judging and hating others (except child molesters and murderers) because I know I’m not perfect, either.
3. Will your posts on this social media site continuously be full of grammatical errors and vulgar language?
A) hell ya your joking rite??
4. Will the sole purpose of your social media account be to create unnecessary drama?
A) Yes, isn’t that the point of social media?
B) No, I prefer to solve my issues in a more personal, less public setting.
5. Will you regularly jump to conclusions and react negatively to every single trending issue without first getting all the facts?
A) Yes, the first reaction is always best, and it’s always important to share with the world.
B) No, I prefer to figure out what’s actually going on, and even then, I don’t always feel the need to jump in on the conversation.
6. Do you actually believe failing to share a particular post means you hate Jesus, your mother or your children?
A) Yes, unless I retweet, repost or share a random artist’s depiction of Jesus, I will go straight to hell.
B) No, I realize these things have no bearing on my eternal damnation/salvation or my familial relations.
7. Will your posts/shares only be negative?
A) Yes. If it isn’t negative, why would I want to share it?
B) No, I actually don’t hate the world and everything in it.
8. Do you think posting drunk pictures, underage party invites or requests for drugs will go unnoticed by law enforcement officers and future employers?
A) Yeah, duh, that’s why I made my account private.
B) No, I’m well aware that making an account private does not necessarily mean no unwanted persons will see it.
9. Do you believe posting photos of you taken while you were obviously intoxicated or holding containers of alcohol makes you look cool?
A) Yeah, everyone will think I’m awesome when they see how much I drink.
B) No, whether or not I drink doesn’t determine how “cool” people think I am.
10. Will your username/handle include anything inappropriate, racist, obnoxious or flat-out stupid?
A) Yeah, of course! I love changing my own handle to match some underground rapper’s Twitter handle.
11. Will you claim you’re not racist, but still share things that discriminate against groups of people?
A) Yes, I believe that anyone with a name that sounds remotely Middle Eastern is a terrorist.
B) No, that’s just ridiculous.
12. Do you only intend to post when you want to go on a crybaby rant?
A) Yeah, pretty much.
B) No, when I need to rant, I call my mom, my best friend or my boyfriend/girlfriend.
13. Do you plan to use an excessive number of hashtags at any given time?
A) Yes, by using 15 hashtags, I know I’ll get more people to see what I post!
B) No, I prefer to stick to a reasonable three to five hashtags, max.
If you answered “A” more than one to two times, then I’m sorry, you’re not ready to enter the world of social media. You probably don’t understand sharing everything that crosses your mind isn’t necessary.
You probably also don’t understand that it’s okay to have a different belief system or opinion than someone else, or that it's not okay to spew hate.
Good luck in your future endeavors, but by all means, please steer clear of social media platforms.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of Elite Daily.