For many of us, cooking is akin to alchemy. It can be extremely daunting, especially if you've already given up on it being a part of your life.
(And by "cooking" I mean, like, making yourself a meal that is not "pasta with the good cheese on it" or "chicken put in a hot pan until it won't give me salmonella.")
Sometimes, all you need is someone to help guide you to the culinary realm with simple and delicious recipes (this has not yet happened to me, I'm just assuming).
Anyway, one Imgur user decided to be that guide for her older brother. She titled the post "Recipe Book I Made My Kitchen Challenged Older Brother."
Yeah, this amazing sister made her brother, who cannot cook, a cookbook perfectly fitted to his nonexistent culinary skill set.
I want this cookbook extremely badly. Also, it has the best title of any cookbook since I made myself one called "PUT CHEESE IN MOUTH WHEN DRUNK®."
Each recipe comes with preambles like, "Unless you're so dumb you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, then you're shit out of luck," which is exactly as creative as it is strange.
And the meals have names like "Leftover Chicken Salad So Your Lazy Ass Can Make Two Meals At Once" and "Shepherd's Pie That We All Know Will Be Eaten In One Sitting."
My favorite recipe name, though, is "Indian Chicken Curry (Not The 'Night On The Toilet' Kind)." Both kinds sound delicious.
Subheading: "I'd say that this is as easy as boiling water, but you've burnt that before."
You can check out more pages from the cookbook by going to the original Imgur post. I have not tried making any of these, so proceed with caution. They might be diarrhea bombs, I wouldn't know.