10 Hilarious Ideas For Reality TV Show Spinoffs You Wish Existed

Reality TV is the king of spinoffs. From "Vanderpump Rules" to "The Bachelorette," the second iteration of a show is often so good you start to forget which show actually came first.

That said, reality TV is also the emperor of spinoff abominations. Four words: "The Pauly D Project."

What's "The Pauly D Project," you ask? Exactly. The 11 people who watched that show died of mysterious circumstances seven days after their first viewing -- it's "The Ring" of reality television.

In general, reality TV is apparently where people who have just been released from mental asylums for the criminally insane go to become TV executives. I imagine most pitch meetings for new shows go like this:

BOSS: What's the saddest type of person? Producer #1: Single moms? Producer #2: Orphans? Producer #3: People who are drowning? BOSS: AMAZING! ORPHANS WHOSE MOMS HAVE DROWNED! WE'LL TEACH THEM MMA AND MAKE THEM FIGHT!"

So, in that vein, I decided to come up with some terrible spinoffs of my own. Because, ladies and gentleman, our culture can always fall lower.

Behold! Here are 10 truly terrible ideas for reality TV shows.

1. "Keeping Up With The Sex Life Of My Ex-Girlfriend"

Tagline: Ah, I see Thomas has started kayaking.

2. "35 And Pregnant"

Tagline: My husband and I just bought a beautiful home together.

3. "Project Runaway"

Tagline: These competitors aren't going home without a fight.

4. "Teen Step-Mom"

Tagline: It's legal in this state.

5. "The Real Housewives Of Toronto"

Tagline: Susan Macdonald from down the street taught me how to crochet last Easter.

6. "The Bachelor In Apartment 4G"

Tagline: Ivan just started taking taekwondo classes in order to meet new people.

7. "C(R)OPS"

Tagline: Real farmers chasing real sap beetles.

8. "The Voice(s Inside My Head)"

Tagline: Kill and eat the cat so you can absorb its ancient Egyptian powers!

9. "America's Next Top Motel"

Tagline: Judged by America's three pickiest mistresses.

10. "Dancing With The Stalkers"

Tagline: Finally, they can touch.