Scary Things To Pretend You're Running From
Running indoors can be mind-numbing.
In fact, very legitimate studies show treadmills are some of the most boring places on Earth.
Sure, you can listen to podcasts and watch TV if you go to a classy gym, but are these tiresome activities inspiring you to make the most of your workout?
Do you feel keyed up and energized? Ready to punch a stranger?
If not, you may not be motivated enough to really maximize your cardio.
But, finding this incentive on your monotonous exercise device can be fun and easy.
First, think of the areas in your life you want to avoid. They can be people, conversations or anything else that makes you want to shit your pants out of fear or discomfort.
Now, imagine getting away from them as fast as you possibly can. You can really feel those calories burning, right?
Here are 10 things to visualize running from in order to take your cardio workout to the next level:
1. Your chatty neighbor Nancy
She's sweet. She really is, and clearly her garbage son doesn't call her enough.
But sometimes, you just don't have time to talk, and it's starting to feel like escaping from jail every time you leave your place.
Envision that you're late for work, your bus is coming and Nancy is starting to tell you what the doctor said about her psoriasis.
2. Student loan collectors
Whoa, what if those annoying callers climbed out of your phone and are now chasing you and trying to make you pay for college?
As you try to lose them, yell out, “I'LL PAY YOU WHEN HAVING THIS DEGREE PAYS OFF FOR ME!”
It will probably resonate with several other people at the gym.
3. Our latest president elect
There is nothing more terrifying than this giant orange man close behind you. Or, at this point, it can be any man behind you.
Grab your own you-know-what and RUN.
4. The feeling when you want to text your ex
This, like all problems, is definitely something you can run from.
Stuff those memories back down there and dash through that pang of regret!
5. Jeff and Kara, I will not help you move again.
You gave up a Saturday last March to help them load up a U-Haul, and you have too much waiting on your DVR to leave your couch this weekend.
See them start to say, “It will only take an hour, tops,” and GTFO.
6. The security guards who caught you shoplifting in high school
You were going through a phase, and it's not a big deal. But, the memory still haunts you to this day.
Imagine how mad your mom is going to be, and kick it into high gear.
7. Being in a parking garage
You know you parked at 6C, but you've walked around the whole level twice.
Feel the uncertainty of who could be creeping around these corners and embrace the thought of seemingly having lost your car forever.
Take another lap!
8. Your work nemesis, Ashley
Oh, another backhanded compliment about your “comfortable” shoes? NOT TODAY, ASHLEY.
Picture her standing at the Keurig just waiting to ruin your day. Up the speed to 11, sprint past her on that high road and give her a little wave. BYE.
9. Recreational sports
Visualize that someone to your left just said, “Hey, what are you doing Sunday morning? We're starting a soccer league.”
10. The guy who has somehow managed to sleep with all your friends
Why is he so charming? How is this so tempting?
See yourself waiting for a drink when he comes up behind you and asks how your cat is.
CODE RED. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!