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Porn Company Offers Kim Davis $500K To Star In A Same-Sex Porn Scene

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For those of you who don't know (because, I'm assuming, you've lived in a nuclear fallout bunker since 1956), Kim Davis is a horrible woman who decided it was her solemn religious duty to impersonate a bucket of horse vomit.

She was jailed after refusing to issue a marriage license to a gay couple because she thought two gay people getting married would soil the sanctity of marriage. Kim Davis, mind you, has been divorced three times and looks like Jabba the Hutt's anemic niece.

 

I think she's already done all she can do to soil marriage herself.

But, worry not, things are looking up for this soulless crusader.

Kim Davis was just offered half a million dollars to star in a lesbian sex scene by... drumroll... "Dogfart Productions."

Yes, we are serious: http://t.co/mHBqdX6Eq1 https://t.co/rlM5DmpHAP — Dogfart Productions (@DogfartNetwork) October 6, 2015

Yes, this is a real company. Yes, it makes a lot of money. And yes, it wants to give the money to Kim Davis to star in an interracial (apparently, this is the company's specialty), lesbian sex scene.

God, I can only imagine the eureka moment when the founders of this porn company came up with its delightful name. I'm picturing an aboveground pool (bought for cheap after someone drowned in it), and two cool, laid-back entrepreneurs (naked except for their fedoras) treading water while trying not to pass out from all the ketamine they just did.

Kim Davis has not given any word as to whether or not she'd be up to star in the film, but here is a taste of how incredibly sexy it would be.

I want people to go home and pray as hard as they can for this to happen. If God cares about us at all, he will not let our prayers go unanswered.

Citations: Kim Davis Offered $500K By Porn Company To Do Same-Sex, Interracial Porn Scene (Complex)