If Your Phone Judged You The Way Your Mom Does You Wouldn't Have A Phone

I know most of them mean well, but there's something about mothers that makes it virtually impossible for them not to pry into the personal lives of their children and share their opinions and advice regardless of whether or not anyone's asked for either.

I'm still working on finding a scientist willing to accept a bribe to back me up on this, but it would appear some aspect of pushing another person out of her body makes your mother predisposed to reading too far into the details of your weekend.

If you're lucky, you only have to deal with the occasional passive aggressive comment during your obligatory Thursday night phone calls home, but when your mom thinks going to more than one bar on the same day is the behavior of an alcoholic, you soon learn to pick and choose what you reveal.

That would not be doable if your mother pulled a "Freaky Friday" with your phone because it would be impossible for you to do basically anything without an unsolicited comment popping up on your phone.

It would probably look something like this, complete with the option to use the response you want to give and the one you actually end up saying.

Normally you have a couple weeks to make up an excuse before she looks at the statement.

Why risk it?

It's definitely not still sitting in the box it came in.

Sometimes you just get carried away.

She probably heard about it while listening to NPR.

I'm surprised she doesn't have a study to back that claim up.

Let's just hope she doesn't notice what time it is.

That's certainly one explanation.

This is the very definition of "too careful."

At a certain point, I think you just get a new phone.