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Hatchimal Toys Reportedly Mumbling NSFW Phrases

There is a thing called a "Hatchimal." If you don't know what that is, that's probably because you are neither a small child or a parent of one.

Basically, they're tamagotchi, except not digital.

Yes, in the many years since you let your tamagotchi die from negligence, the world has been endeavoring to develop an even more realistic and tangible human-to-creature product for children to eventually forget about so they have to forever live with the guilt of abandonment.

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The Hatchimals come in an egg and you have to care for them until they hatch, or something like that.

They're $60 and are sold out everywhere. I learned about these things over Christmas dinner when a family friend was talking about how he paid $150 for one on the Hatchimal black market in order to please his daughter.

Seriously, these things are insanely popular. Kids can't get enough of them.

Except one father from Canada, Nick Galego, noticed something a little bit weird about his son's Hatchimal. It kind of sounds like it's saying, "Fuck me."

MyJourney2Onederland on YouTube

Like, yes, there is a lot of mumbling. But with all the whimpering and sighing, it really sounds like this egg is trying to get someone to fuck it.

“I'm pretty sure it says 'fuck me,'” Galego told CTV Vancouver Island.

Most people think it's saying, "Hug me," which, of course, is probably what's being said. But, needless to say, I'm straight up terrified right now.

As Buzzfeed points out, others are now posting their own videos of the Hatchimals sounding like they're trying to solicit sex.

Em Em Kay on YouTube

Oh, God help us. Why do their eyes glow like that?

Stop. Stop it right now, demon.

Bl4zz3r on YouTube

Make an omelette out of that thing immediately -- it is not to be trusted.

Spin Master, the company that makes the toys, released a statement to Buzzfeed, making it very clear they did not program a children's toy to ask people to fuck it.

As Tara Tucker, VP global marketing communications, put it:

Hatchimals communicate by speaking their own unique language, which is made up of random sounds, and by making other noises, including shivering when they're cold and snoring while they sleep.

Word. Still don't trust these things.

Citations: Parents Say Their Children's Hatchimals Are Mumbling "Fuck Me" In Their Sleep (BuzzFeed)