Traditionally speaking, the Met Gala is a classy, privilege-filled extravaganza where celebrities compete to see whose ridiculous outfit is going to get made fun of the most the next day.
The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards, on the other hand, are where porn stars compete to see who starred in the Most Outrageous Sex Scene in the previous year.
However, it's worth noting there were approximately zero elevator fights featuring the sibling of a high-profile celebrity at the AVN Awards in 2014 -- a claim the Met Gala cannot make.
It turns out this isn't the only category where the gathering of porn stars is somehow more conservative -- some of the dresses at this year's Met Gala were actually more revealing than some of the ones worn to last year's awards.
In fairness, there were some porn stars who decided to wear an up-and-coming label known as Next To Nothing, but compared to some of the outfits sported at the Met Gala, others looked like they were attending a conservative sock hop.
These are some of the more noteworthy dresses of the night (the one that didn't look like a giant pizza).
And here are three women whose names I'll pretend not to know at the 2014 AVN Awards.
DID BEYONCÉ WEAR A PORN STAR'S TATTERED DRESS TO THE MET GALA???
Probably not, but don't let the truth get in the way of a great lead.
Jennifer forgot the side of her dress in the Bronx.
We get it, JLo. You have a "hot" ass. You're better than visual puns.
This is just a picture of one porn star wearing less than the other.
Are Kardashian sex tapes jokes old yet? I don't really care.