The McDonald's Hamburglar Is Back And The Internet Is Tearing Him Apart


The Hamburglar used to be one of McDonald's weird, kid-oriented mascots, and he retired 13 years ago for reasons that were never really made clear.

I think it's because he looked like this:

There's no way the face under that mask isn't covered in boils.

However, it seems a lot of people loved that little weirdo because McDonald's decided to bring him back with a brand new look.

Joel Yashinsky, McDonald's vice president of brand and marketing, told Mashable,

Yeah, someone had sex with that creature and birthed a hell child.

McDonald's teased the new look with a series of unsettling videos.

Apparently, the Hamburglar is a serial killer? Pretty sure only serial killers have secret rooms with their notoriety plastered all over the walls...

Then came the official photographs.

I introduce to you the Hamburglar.

Honestly, I don't remember the old Hamburglar at all, but apparently, he was A BIG DEAL.

It feels like someone just looked at the old Hamburglar and thought, "How do we make this guy more like a porn star?"

The people of the Internet remembered him, though. Within minutes, they were devouring his corpse.

Either they were making fun of him...

Calling him creepy...

...or thought he was weirdly sexy.

Seriously, a lot of people think he's hot.

You know, in the way all hamburger-obsessed people are...

Because who DOESN'T want to pork a masked thief wearing red latex gloves?

Others pointed out he's basically just a hipster Zorro.

So what are you waiting for, dummies? Go get in on the Twitter action!

Here's a sample Hamburglar tweet to get you started.

Citations: McDonalds brings back Hamburglar (Mashable)