A Shanghai mall just accomplished an impressive feat: how to both uphold gender stereotypes of “WOMEN LOVE SHOPPING” and simultaneously emasculate husbands.
It's called the Vanke Mall, and it has a husband nursery in it.
And, yes, it is exactly what it sounds like.
It is a place where husbands can go — as if they were bored children, unable to busy themselves during the errands of their parents — to relax and wait for their wives to pick them up (presumably with impressive toys for them to play with AFTER dinner).
Things you can find in the husband nursery include message chairs, televisions, food, drinks and carpets with complex patterns presumably meant to resemble sidewalk vomit.
No longer shall one have to sit on the bench outside the changing room as though it is a life-saving raft bobbing in a sea of boredom and malaise.
Now you may go to a special room for big boys who don't like spending time with their wives.
As Mashable points out, the photographs were posted on Weibo, which is basically Chinese Twitter, and they got a lot of love from DUDES WHO RELATE TO BEING DRAGGED PLACES BY THEIR CONSUMERIST WIVES!!!! RIGHT???
(Please understand the above sentence is slathered with 600 mason jars worth of sarcasm jelly.)
"Alec, it's all in good fun! Stop being so woke!" I can hear you crying at your computer. First of all, that's not how computers work. I can't hear you. And second of all, I know.
It's funny. I will just let it be funny.
Now I will proceed to imagine what a conversation might be like within the husband nursery (for adult men who are definitely not toddlers):
Husband #1: I'm hungry. Husband #2: I'm hungry too. Husband #3: I need to pee. Husband #1: I heard that sex is when you pee in a girl. Husband #2: NO. GROSS. Husband #3: I peed.
Happy election day!