This Life-Size Donald Trump Dummy Will Seriously Give You Nightmares
You learn a lot about the darker side of humanity when you spend most of your days clicking aimlessly around the Internet in search of your next mildly entertaining fix, never knowing exactly where the next link will lead you.
It's days like this that lead me to discover some people will spend $1,500 for the honor of having sex with an eerily lifelike doll -- a price I came to learn is actually on the low end of the scale when it comes to realistic inanimate women you can f*ck.
That might sound like a lot of money, but if you're willing to settle for a doll of a person who specializes in f*cking other people, you're in luck.
An artist in Arkansas recently dedicated a number of the precious hours we're all given on this planet to construct a life-size dummy of Donald Trump, which serves as a fantastic conversation piece and a virtually endless source of jokes exploiting the double meaning of the word dummy.
If you have $895 and the same amount of investment acumen Trump exhibited over the years, then you can be the lucky person who brings this doll into your home where you can do a number of things the government can't legally inquire about (or punish you for).
Trump will always be there to text you back.
You'll never have to watch a movie by yourself.
It's not drinking alone when Donald's sipping on a vodka tonic.
He's a fantastic listener.
The dummy is also a great place to showcase the Brooks Brothers collection you presumably have if you want this inside your house.
Just don't look him in the eyes.
NEVER. LOOK. HIM. IN. THE. EYES.
You've been warned.