Hysterical Instagram Account Reveals The Inner Thoughts Of 5-Year-Olds

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If you have a friend who is a teacher of small children, then you have a friend who posts the funny things his or her students say on Facebook.

Nearly every teacher with a social media presence does this, but one teacher decided to go pro.

She (the teacher remains anonymous) started an Instagram called Live From Snack Time! where she chronicles the psychotic things she hears her little humans say.

The results are spectacular. It's like reading quotes by drunk philosophers or talking dogs.

Humblebrag much?

 Just draw a sphere and paint it gold.

This is an important and often ignored argument.

Wait a few years, buddy; maybe you'll want a fire engine instead.

Do you mean "reading"?

This kid knows.

It's true -- especially R. Kelly, though.

This is an easy misunderstanding.

I wish I could say this at work.

This is smooth as hell, kiddo.

Invite me to this party right now.

Because they repel you.

Stop watching documentaries.

Yes. God.

This kid figured it out.

Citations: Hilarious Instagram Kindergarteners (Cosmopolitan)