There are endless self-defense classes, MMA gyms and karate dojos you could attend in an effort to be able to hold your own in a street fight.
But these guys' ultimate moves make all that training about as effective as after-school flute lessons.
Because you see, when a fight starts, these martial arts masters rip off their pants and wag their brightly colored and thong-covered crotch bulges around like they're the little dragon from "Mulan."
These geniuses know the people who are most ready to fight a stranger on the street for no reason at all are also those who are most likely to experience homophobic terror when confronted with a man wearing an ornate thong.
All opponents cower in the face of this secret technique.