If Craigslist Ads For NYC Apartments Were Honest And Cut Out The Bullsh*t

These days, you can't really call yourself a high-ranking foreign official with a questionable source of income unless you've purchased a multimillion dollar apartment in NYC that you never plan on stepping foot in.

I'm not suggesting Russian oligarchs are the only reason "affordable housing" is slowly becoming an oxymoron -- I have to give credit where credit is due to the landlords using Airbnb to run illegal hotels -- but they're certainly not helping the housing shortage.

Low-vacancy rates and rapidly rising rents have made it significantly more difficult for a regular person to find a place in the areas most people want to live, something I've learned firsthand after spending way too much time browsing listings on Craigslist.

If I've learned anything over the past couple of years, it's that the key to finding an apartment in New York is to set your expectations low and then get ready to lower them even more. A lot of brokers will do anything to get you to call, including blatantly lying.

Here's what the ads would look like if they actually had to tell the truth.