Hitler Might've Had A Micropenis Because Karma Really Does Exist
Anyone who spent too much time at shows featuring amateur stand-up comedians probably heard a joke about how different the world would be if the head of admissions at the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna was a little more lenient while evaluating entrance exams when Adolf Hitler applied.
While I can appreciate the idea of the butterfly effect (and the Ashton Kutcher movie of the same name), I've heard some people seriously suggest the anger this rejection inspired directly contributed to all the things Hitler did to make the name "Adolf" permanently unfashionable.
Considering the scale and the motivations behind the atrocities committed by Nazis, it seems slightly absurd to suggest the horrors of World War II were significantly influenced by Hitler's inability to handle an art school rejection letter.
However, anyone looking for a simple psychological explanation for a series of crimes and abuses that likely can't be explained by one will be thrilled to hear about a claim recently introduced by two historians: Hitler had a micropenis.
Just months after another historian confirmed the long-standing rumor Hitler only had one testicle, Jonathan Mayo and Emma Craigie released a new book "Hitler's Last Day: Minute by Minute," presenting the claim the dictator suffered from a condition commonly associated with people who have tiny penises.
According to the Daily Mail, the disease causes the urethra to open underneath the penis (closer to the testicles) instead of its traditional location. In particularly extreme cases, this condition can result in a micropenis (which, for the uninitiated, is exactly what it sounds like).
Unlike Rasputin's decidedly non-micro penis, there's no physical evidence to support the claim, but I'm going to choose to believe it.
It's nice to believe I live in a world where one of the biggest dicks in history also had one of the smallest ones the world has ever seen.
Citations: Did Hitler have a micro-penis? Historians claim Nazi leader suffered from a rare deformity where the urethra opened on the under side of his manhood (Daily Mail), Hitler sketches that failed to secure his place at art academy to be auctioned (The Telegraph), Hitler really did have only one testicle, German researcher claims (The Guardian), Is this the foot-long preserved penis of Rasputin? (Metro)