In this modern time of strife and turmoil, it seems like we are perpetually waiting for a hero in our midsts to lead us in the right direction.
Look no further, brothers and sisters, for I have found 18 of them. These people (and animals) will surely set you on the path to success.
"I've got on underwear I can sh*t in, a dog whose head I can stand on AND hardwood floors. Go f*ck yourself."
"Let's go, ladies -- I got us a bottle."
"We've seen 'The Hunger Games.' F*ck your rules."
"Moo. IDGAF about trains. Moo."
"How old is he? F*ck it."
"Listen, nerds, I was riding a scooter when you were still in my balls."
"A hat is a hat. This is a hat."
"No way am I going to take my headphones off and stop watching 'Days of Our Lives' just because some dude whose assh*le I used to wipe drove a thousand miles to see me."
"Bleep bloop, you're more boring than Jeb Bush, bloop bleep."
"It was an honest mistake."
"Come at me, Poseidon."
"Am I being too subtle here?"
"Look, I can't read."
"Was today the day to wear a wolf-face robe to Walmart? Does the Pope poop in a toilet like everyone else?"
"What does this smile tell you about how I feel about what happened here today?"
"We did the math, and 2 + 2 = Go f*ck yourself."
"What, human? It's warmer under here. Eat a bag of dicks."