We've all had too much to drink on certain nights in our lives and made some bad choices we have come to regret. Well, not all of us, but enough of us that we shouldn't necessarily feel ashamed.
The worst of these decisions would be drunk driving, which I have never and will never do because it is the most absurdly stupid and dangerous thing you can do, other than hand a baby a can of gasoline and some fireworks.
If we look at it in this light -- meaning if we assume the guy featured below owns a car and felt he wasn't sober enough to drive, so he just passed out on some dude's bench all night and into the morning -- then we could say this is the story of a drunk hero behaving bravely.
That would probably be a very giving and gracious interpretation of this story, but I am a giving and gracious man. Just ask Phil from 79th street (I helped an old guy named Phil across 79th street in 2003, and I've been high off that generosity ever since).
Anyway, the man below was spotted sleeping on this Snapchat user's front porch, without pants.
The pants had vanished.
No matter how much noise he made, the man didn't wake up. He even filmed himself slamming his front door, just feet from the drunk guy, over and over and nothing.
Then it began to rain, which was no problem for our slumbering friend.
The guy whose porch it was wondered if he should call the cops, but instead, he just waited for the guy to wake up and took this selfie where it seems our slumbering angel has a bruise.
Sleep well, traveler.