The subreddit TIFU is filled with true stories of people doing all sorts of things to make their lives more difficult, and it's also filled with the fabricated ramblings of people who get off by lying to strangers on the Internet for points.
In some cases, it's easy to smell the proverbial flaming bag of dog poop, but sometimes it's simply impossible to verify that an incredibly unlikely series of coincidences actually occurred in real life -- I've basically given up trying.
With that being said, the skeptic in me doesn't want to believe that a 19-year-old from New Zealand somehow found himself in the middle of a situation you really only find in the kind of porn that acknowledges just how ridiculous its plot is.
However, I also have no evidence to prove this didn't play out exactly how he says it did.
If you want to believe you might be able to end up in this guy's shoes one day (minus the really awkward part), I won't spoil the fun:
I'm 19 years old, normal dude, think about sex about 10 times a day, and every guy that is or was a teenager knows that one of the biggest triumphs that we dream to one day pull off, is to you know, tame the rare and mysterious cougar.
So its just a normal night out with the lads, drinks were had, sh*t was spoken.
We took turns shouting rounds and as it was my turn to step up, a woman comes out of know where and starts chatting to me.
She was very good-looking, one of those type that you could tell was in her 40s but didn't look it (if that makes any sense).
We started talking, she had ended up alone and then just decided to get a drink whilst she waited for her sisters.
I spun my usual sh*t of being a professional athlete who was transferred to the city, with money to burn and huge house.
The usual sh*t one talks to try and get laid and whilst I'm no ladies man by any means, I could tell from the get-go that she was dead keen.
So anyway, we continued talking, and out of no where she asks if I am paying for taxi, or is she. I knew it was game-on.
Suddenly I was 6 year-old me waking up on Christmas day to find not only had Santa bought me the PlayStation 1 I asked for, but he chucked in Crash Team Racing whilst he was at it.
All my dreams had spiralled to this one point. I was going to sleep with a cougar.
So we get back to her hotel room and long-story short, dreams CAME true (lol). I ended up staying till early in the morning when I get a text from my mother saying to get home by lunch-time as the family is going to a BBQ.
Standard from mum, I have obligations as part of the family show up to these events.
So I get home and try get ready for this BBQ still hung over and tired from the previous nights exploits. We head out to the BBQ.
Everyone's smiles and laughter, and who the f*ck do I spot saying hello to my mother.
You guessed it.
Turns out she's a friend of my mums who was visiting from out of town with her sisters.
Now my mum is one of the mums who when she is with her friends telling stories about her sons, she does so in the most embarrassing way possible.
So basically the next couple hours was her telling stories about 19 year-old son who isn't a millionaire, professional athlete that still lives at home.
I guess stranger things have happened.