An Austrian bartender was fined by the Vienna police for burping too loudly while eating a kebab in public.
No, you did not misread that.
After hearing the monster burp, the cops apparently grabbed him by the shoulder and fined him £55 (about $77) for his illegal mouth noise.
Their official reason was reportedly "breach of the peace."
When Edin Mehic (the amoral throat-gas criminal in question) was asked what he had to say for himself, he explained it was, like, such a spicy kebab "with lots of onions."
Now what, dear readers, can we learn from this incident I've just described?
We can learn two things:
1. Apparently Viennese police have very little to do with their time.
2. It must have been the gnarliest burp of all time. Like, that's the caliber of burp that can make everyone at a tragic child custody hearing start laughing.
Mehic claimed to have been at least 20 meters from the cops when he made the burp. That's almost 66 feet.
This guy burped so stupendously not only could you hear it clearly at 65 feet away, but the law had to get involved.
The whole thing reportedly went viral after Edin "Burp-zilla" Mehic uploaded a picture of the ticket to his Facebook. The comment section lit on fire.
Finally, in protest of Burpgate, a flash mob apparently got together to drink soda, eat kababs and burp their brains out in protest. Yeah, Rosa Parks would've been proud.
Yes, a bunch of people actually organized this event, spent money on a ton of soda and kebabs and spent their day burping.
Honestly, I love living on this planet. What a f*cking weird place to be.