A British grocery store responded perfectly to a woman who claims its lettuce turned her into a "fat prostitute."
Leila Jayne Daly penned a bizarre letter of complaint to British store Sainsbury's, claiming its lettuce caused her to gain 12 stone (~168 pounds) after she found an unexpected guest in her food.
Leila claims that after finding a worm eating her lunch, she "cried for a little over an hour. Until, puffy and red, [she] gave in and ate a burger." It happens to the best of us, Leila.
The discovery apparently rocked the Daly household. Leila said,
My children started crying, my cats started headbutting the wall in shock. I soiled myself, and my husband divorced me, it was complete madness.
The upsetting sequence of events led Leila to advise,
Fire all your staff. Close down your business. There is no other way.
But Sainsbury's had the best response ready:
That poor worm. Munching away on some lettuce, all content with his life. Now he's playing the starring role in some horror story.
They also suggest she looks after the unexpected guest: "Worms are easy pets to keep."
They even offered an alternative to being a fat prostitute:
Judging by your picture you make a mean salad, perhaps salads could be an alternative option to your new career move?
Leila responded to Ross' suggestion of a pet worm, admitting that he may be too much of a handful for her, saying,
We have sent him to live in the garden, however, he has been terrorizing the neighborhood dog so we are actively seeking a worm foster home.
She adds that keeping the worm may be more work than they realize. She claims,
He's an avid Netflix fan, and has requested we run a TV and electricity into the playhouse which he refers to as 'King Jackie's Kingdom of Doom.'
Netflix is nice and all, but we think we'll be avoiding "King Jackie's Kingdom of Doom."