Most people reading this article are probably going to think this woman is overreacting to her boyfriend eating a slice of her pizza without her permission -- but, let me make this perfectly clear: I am not one of those people.
I stand with her.
Her boyfriend tweeted out the hilarious video evidence of her rant, which has now been shared over 42,000 times.
I ate ONE piece of @SuperiorAsian's pizza and she had a heart attack... pic.twitter.com/0Dbwo9HOe6 — dee breezy (@xxdbreezyxx) July 5, 2016
You can follow this brave woman who wasn't afraid to stand up for her pizza on Twitter. She is my one and true role model.
My favorite line from the video is also what I'd like engraved on my tombstone when I (I'm guessing) die from defending Jennifer Lawrence from a pack of wolves:
I don't wanna share anything that I'm digesting!
She went on to explain the backstory to Metro, saying,
He takes my food all of the time and I finally had enough of it!
He saw it differently.
Your words mean nothing to me, sir.
Thankfully, many of the good people of Twitter saw her side of things:
@xxdbreezyxx @SuperiorAsian WHY TF YOU TOUCHED HER PIZZA FAM!!! IM WITH HER, SHE SHOULD HAVE BEAT YO AHH pic.twitter.com/kycyU5u4HR — T. (@flyhighjas) July 6, 2016
@xxdbreezyxx BRUH I ain't laughed this hard in so long man what's her @ name so I can thank her for being so petty & true to herself — WeauxDeeMizzle (@My_Moment95) July 6, 2016
@xxdbreezyxx you better tell her ass you're hungry next time — heem (@_mansa) July 6, 2016
Later, now pissed he both stole her pizza and made her famous for getting annoyed about it, she sent him a long message --which he promptly tweeted -- explaining how she thinks he schemed to get that pizza from the word "go."
There is so much to unpack here, so let me just list my favorite gems from this work of art. (Really quick, though: It's very much not cool to call homeless people pigs -- OK, back to pizza frivolity.)
1. You plotted on getting my food when you knew I was hungry. 2. You professionally broke off that piece. 3. Now people think I'm all crazy when I'm not I'm just really serious about my food.
If their relationship can survive this, they can survive anything.
Because we live in a democracy, I will leave this up to the public opinion. What do you think?