Lifestyle

4 Philosophical Arguments All Millennial Couples Will Definitely Have

by Elliot Lerner

Millennials have adopted new rituals and methods for seeking out the perfect mates.

However, this updated process comes with its own unique blend of challenges and obstacles that every couple must overcome.

In the midst of this jungle, a Millennial couple will inevitably follow the path that leads to the ever-dreaded argument.

Throughout time, each couple will have a fight that is purely specific to its generation.

These are the five fights every Millennial couple will have:

1. She calls you “anthropocentric.”

To think, all this began when you made an offhanded joke, saying the only things you fear are “women and nature.”

Then, your significant other asked you what the difference was.

An hour and a half later, you two are shouting at each other because now, you feel compelled to defend your joke.

Your SO says it’s arrogant you even dare to wonder if ants consider their organization and efficiency beautiful, let alone why you even dabble in fallacious applications of human concepts, such as beauty or organization to ants.

But, you don’t even care about it.

You just see humanity’s construction to be separate from things like mountains, sharks or other creatures not created by humanity.

It’s not even an issue.

You consider yourself to be “ecocentric,” if anything. But why would your SO care?

You two have only been dating for seven months.

2. What is “art?”

So, the two of you are making dinner, and you did not get the right pasta sauce.

Your SO prefers organic vodka, and all of a sudden, he or she whips around around from stirring the gnocchi to say he or she believes art is merely an imitation of reality.

Why should your SO consider a photograph or painting of a flower art when it isn’t as real as the actual flower?

This threw you off because you thought you two were having such a great time earlier, even though your SO seemed a little quiet when you were at the open market.

Now, you’re gritting your teeth, trying to explain art is not necessarily truth.

It is merely a pathway that leads to the truth.

Now, this person may counter with the notion art is the opposite of truth, and you interrupt the person again to say art is about creating harmony and making people reach their own conclusions of what is visible in this world.

You know how much your SO hates being interrupted.

3. Is social action self-governed?

This one, again?

You have this same fight 10 times a week.

You finally storm out of the apartment and meet your buddy at the bar to rant about the stuff that’s got you miffed this time.

Your SO doesn’t pick up his or her clothes and lied about the number of sexual partners he or she has had.

Of course, your SO doesn’t seem to get we, as humans, base our actions according to the social contexts and folkways of our current surroundings.

These actions affect other people.

By being aware, we govern ourselves to modify our own actions when we realize the reaction we receive is not a desired one.

But of course, your SO is all, "Self is entirely affected by the norms and values of the society it lives in, and has no autonomy over its actions."

But you’re so sick of this argument that you burn yourself out, slam your beer and get up to go pee.

You tell your emotionally drained friend you’ll get the next round on the way back because hey, you’re not a complete monster.

4. You argue about ethical hedonism versus desire satisfaction theory.

All you want is for your partner to understand you.

You enjoy seeking out pleasure without hurting anyone.

You’re aware of the necessity of moral limitation for the sake of posterity, but ultimately, humanity is born to seek and act on desire.

Once a person realizes his or her own desires, he or she should be allowed to act accordingly, as long as he or she doesn't infringe upon the equal rights of others.

Maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain brings a natural balance to the world neither pure selfish indulgence nor deprivation can ever attain, thus making hedonism the most noble of philosophical pursuits.

But your partner can’t get past his or her own notion hedonism is merely a construct of desire, and we see things in our lives as good if they merely satisfy our desires at the time.

Whereas hedonism is simply subjective and does not take into account the desires of others, it also fails to address what happens if we cannot satisfy our desires at the moment of seeking said pleasure.

If hedonism is truly objective, it would see all people's desires as equally important.