Most people dismiss Donald Trump as a bad celebrity fad that will hopefully go away.
But I got to thinking about it, and you know what? With all our current political dysfunction and unrest, maybe his supporters are actually onto some things...
Here are just a few of those things:
1. It’s okay to listen to women sometimes … but only if they’re not fat, ugly or mean.
Women are okay, says Donald Trump.
In fact, he “cherishes women."
Trump fans know that, and they love women, too. Especially beautiful women, and especially women who flirt with The Donald.
But unfortunately, there are other types of women in this world: the loser women.
There are females who aren’t a size two, like Rosie O’Donnell.
And there are women who don’t have a supermodel's cheekbones, like Carly Fiorina.
And what’s worse, there are some women – like Megyn Kelly – who are just flat-out mean.
DT supporters understand the difference between pretty & obsequious, and ugly & opinionated. And the fact is folks, we just don’t need any more of the latter.
Donald Trump supporters also know that:
2. A physical disability is no excuse for lack of limb control.
So arthrogryposis is a condition that impairs full movement of the muscles surrounding joints.
And reporter Serge Kovaleski happens to have arthrogryposis, which limits the use of his arms.
But the Trump supporter knows the proper response to this is: So what?
We’re a nation of weaklings and losers, and what we really need is to start winning again.
How are we gonna win if guys like Kovaleski aren’t held to the same basic standards of normal arm function?
Donald Trump supporters understand that when he makes fun of Kovaleski’s disability, he’s really just demanding that we raise our standards already.
3. You really can’t trust a Muslim.
Forget Asra Nomani and her fight for women’s rights at her West Virginia mosque.
Ignore the public rejection of ISIS by CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations).
You can even dismiss the rescue of Navy Seal and conservative hero Marcus Luttrell (aka, the Lone Survivor) by none other than devout Muslim Mohammad Gulab.
We want to be very fair but too many bad things are happening and the percentage of true hatred is too great. People that are looking to destroy our country must be reported and turned in by the good people who love our country and want America to be great again.
Good people = not Muslims. And DT supporters understand that.
4. Total hypocrisy is actually a virtue.
Donald Trump loves to throw his fellow Republican contenders under the bus, claiming they’re all in bed with special interests.
But when it comes to his own wheeling and dealing, Trump is in bed with everybody.
Including the likely Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton, who happened to attend his wedding.
It might seem that if Republican nominees accepting money from mega-donors makes them obligated to do said donors’ business, then currying favor with a mega-power broker (like Hillary Clinton) would come with some strings of its own.
Business relationships are quid pro quo, and that means The Donald probably owes some people … probably, a lot of people.
But that’s only what a stupid non-DT believer thinks.
When you get on the Donald train, you know The Donald lives by a set of his own rules, and one of those rules?
Hypocrisy from DT is a trait to be admired.
And finally, the real Donald Trump voter knows:
5. If you’re a minority (religious or cultural), discrimination is par for the course, and you should probably just get over it.
Look, DT supporters don’t have anything against minorities. They really don’t.
They just know that “laziness” is a trait of minorities, and when it comes to running your books, you definitely want a “short guy” in a “yarmulke” to get the job done.
But even if he did say that stuff, DT fans know he meant it in love, and just as a joke.
Above all, Donald Trump supporters know there’s way too much political correctness out there.
Everyone needs to lighten up (unless you’re a white church goer and Obama says something offensive – then it’s time for a throw down).
Plus, stereotyping races and religions is one fun way to get a laugh.
And we could all use one these days, because we don’t win anymore, and the country is going to hell.
So I finally get it, Donald Trump supporter.
Look for me at the next big Trump rally.
I’ll be the chick holding a “Make America Great Again” sign, and I’ll be sure to wear something tight and skimpy.
You never know, maybe I’ll meet The Donald himself.
And I want him to like me.