This Is What It Would Look Like If Delivery Guys Left Reviews For You

The Internet is filled with people who think their opinion carries more weight than it actually does, especially the people who've watched too many episodes of "Chopped" or "Top Chef" and think they know everything about the art of cuisine.

This phenomenon is essentially responsible for the success of websites like Yelp, which can be a useful resource if you can find a way to ignore the people who take joy in leaving scathing reviews and barely decipherable rants (as well as some of the questionable business tactics).

While restaurants can technically respond to the criticism online, more often than not they're fighting a losing battle. Unfortunately, there's no way for them to rate the people they serve, although I'm sure anyone who invented such a thing would be a savior to the customer service industry.

This is especially true for the people who deliver your food -- the ones who have to deal with issues your typical server will never have to encounter.

The bright side of ordering way too much Chinese is the extra fortune cookies for the people the restaurant assumes exist.

Some habits are hard to break.

Please order responsibly.

Tip well. Just not too well.

Also be friendly. Just not too friendly.

No sane jury out there would convict this man.

Unless you're on the set of a porn film, your clothes should stay on.

The life of a delivery driver is full of surprises.

So. Many. Surprises.