Mark Sturkenboom

WTF? People Can Actually Get Dead Loved One's Ashes Made Into A Dildo (Photos)

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"Ghost" is a softly lit 80s movie where a dead Patrick Swayze follows his still-living wife around and ends up giving her a clay orgasm while they make wet pottery together (or something like that).

It made a big splash when it came out because suddenly everyone was thinking, "Hey, when can I f*ck a ghost?".

Well, the answer to that question is RIGHT NOW.

A fashionable young Dutch designer has made a dildo-urn you can put your dead lover's ashes in.

The designer's name is Mark Sturkenboom (his close friends call him "Dr. ZombieDong").

Dr. ZombieDong explained the catalyst for his creation like this:

I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she has an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband. She always speaks with so much love about him but the jar he was in didn't reflect that at all.

Yes, in order to better reflect the love and respect she had for her deceased husband, Dr. Dead Dick designed a probably prohibitively-expensive, gold-plated, sex toy urn for her.

After all, nothing makes you feel closer to a lost loved one than quietly cleaning your sexual fluids off their urn.

The product's name is 21 Grams.

"21 Grams" is a reference to the 19th-century belief that a soul weighed that exact amount. In fact, the urn inside the glass-blown dildo can hold that exact weight of "dead guy ashes."

No word yet on the price, but considering all the gold and pretentiousness, I'm sure it's a lot.

And don't worry, it comes with an iPod deck...

...and a perfume holder...

...and this elegant gold necklace key.

You know, so all your friends can see exactly how much you love your dead husband's glass corpse wiener.

In summation: rejoice, people! Now widows can fill the hole in their heart and the hole in their pelvis at the same time!

I'm gonna go cry while staring in the mirror.