Kids these days are so spoiled with all the television watching, the video game playing and whatnot.
In my day, our president barely spoke English! Now kids have a cool president who plays basketball. It makes me sick!
Back in the day, there were no massages for toddlers -- all we had were Game Boys, Eggo Waffles and an excruciatingly long wait between new installments of the "Harry Potter" series.
They were tough times.
So you better appreciate the world you live in, little baby, because it's not going to be so luxurious forever. One day you're going to have to get a job at a popular website writing about babies getting massages instead of getting them yourself.
Cherish it while you can.