Technology is in a never-ending contest with the English language to see which can evolve the quickest, and as a result, we're still saying things that don't really make much sense in the modern day.
I'm sure there's a Rotary Phone app so people who try too hard can actually "dial a number," but that phrase doesn't make much sense when you tend to call someone by yelling his or her name at a woman who doesn't exist.
This certainly isn't a new phenomenon, and I'm sure in a couple of decades we'll have to explain more than a few phrases to a generation of people who will likely never have to utter the words, "Do you have WiFi?"
In fact, there are already a few things people used to say that don't really make much sense in this current day and age. You might as well start thinking about how you'll explain them to your children.
Those two nouns might not even exist in 20 years.
You don't know what it feels like to be alive until you find a musical snow globe in the basement containing enough battery power to run your Game Boy.
"It was like Netflix, only you had to drive there. Oh, you also had to drive cars yourself back then."
Life was hard. I'm not sure how we survived such adversity.
The perfect way to complement your jean jacket.
I can't wait for the, "My man bun is so fashionable," entry when I update this list in 20 years.
Never underestimate the power of seemingly arbitrary rankings on the Internet.
They count for so much more than you can even comprehend.
I'd say I feel sorry for you if you picked the latter, but I know it won't make up for the years of bullying you inevitably had to endure because of your decision.
"It was like Google, only British for some reason."
It only gave you links to classy pornography.
I think I'd rather go off the grid before using dial-up Internet again.
You now have the Internet on your phone. Wow. What a crazy world.
This was a game for children. How?
I'm convinced Bop It was originally conceived as a Hand Stuff Training Device, and there's nothing you can say to sway me.
I'm still waiting for the market to rally.
I'm just biding my time until I can finally sell my Princess Diana and buy a Tesla with the profits.
There are two things you should never touch: a man's wife and, more importantly, a man's Pogs.
There's no punishment to fit this crime.
Teachers appreciate the final details.
This is basically an automatic A.
At least it wasn't weird pornography.
I'd probably still prefer that to Creed.
Remember when you legitimately enjoyed paying for music?
Those were the days.
There's no way she won't have a long and fruitful career.
No way at all.
Pictured: the reason I'm not having children.
Tamagotchi taught me how responsible I am from a very early age.
It might have only been 5 inches, but it was your 5 inches.
RIP Local Multiplayer. We will never forget you.
I'm still looking for someone to explain this to me.
I'd also like an explanation for that Crash Test Dummies song.
I never actually used an AOL disc, but I did put a bunch in the microwave.
It provided more instantaneous entertainment than dial-up Internet ever could.
It's probably something that's embarrassing in hindsight.
It's also probably a combination of your name, your favorite hobby and the day you were born.
It's not as sexy as it sounds.
Despite the efforts of some particularly perverted artists on the Internet, Pokémon is the opposite of sexy.
This is definitely not as sexy as it sounds.
It could still make your mouth hurt after a while, though.
"Whatever boy band is relevant right now is going to be on!"
I don't know what's crazier: that we used to plan our lives around TV schedules or that Carson Daly hasn't run for president yet.
What's a gigabyte?
I always carry a 64 GB flash drive with me so that if I'm ever suddenly transported back to the early 90s, I'll be worshipped as a god.
TV Guide knew what channel you were looking for and made sure you had to wait for it.
Technology is sentient. We just haven't realized it yet.
This is an oxymoron.
Good luck trying to convince your grandchildren that yo-yos are cool. If it didn't work on your classmates, it probably won't work on them.
How were we supposed to know somebody with hair like that could have a future ahead of him?
I'm still waiting for the Nick Carter renaissance.
This used to be a legitimate excuse for getting out of something.
Change doesn't always equal progress.
Instant gratification used to be a figment of our imagination.
Deleting your imperfections was a lot harder when people still used film.
Taking relationships to the next level.
There's no better way to celebrate the momentous one-month anniversary.
This might be the most confusing sentence of all.
"But it's so hard to see your screen when the sun is out."