There is a special ring in hell reserved for self-appointed experts chasing a superiority high by trying to give a restaurant a hatchet job on the internet.
Not only is it just a generally shitty and weapon's-grade condescending thing to do, but it's the most lukewarm form of sadism around.
Unless someone was rude to you, clearly didn't give a shit or gave you buttonhole poisoning, don't be a dick head.
One reviewer on TripAdvisor decided a good way of spending his day was listing his critique of a restaurant called Burnt Truffle in Heswall, Wirral.
By the way, he ends literally every sentence with an exclamation point.
I'm not joking. It's every sentence.
Case in point:
Eight of us ordered various starters and one of us asked the waitress Tagliatelle or Pate — she advised the former! But, I went with my standard choice!
It's like he's yelling this review from the bottom of a well.
I do. Not. Understand.
Anyway, the reviewer — named Chris B according to Metro — purports to be an expert on pâté.
I am an expert on Chicken Liver Pate! Predictable as I am!
He describes what he did not like about the food, and that he told this to a waitress.
I did make my feelings / observations plain there & then! The waitress acknowledged theirs was a “light” Pate.
Translation: “I was very rude to a waitress while trying to exert my dominance over with pâté.”
I was still hungry at this point (thank the Lord I didn't let any of the assembled have one of my 'side' chips!
OK, this explains everything.
He's THAT friend, who won't let you have even one of his fries. Coincidentally, this is the same type of friend who will leave you behind during a zombie raid.
He mustn't be trusted.
The chef and owner Gary Usher replied to this, and only this, review on TripAdvisor.
Apart from this review, by the way, the restaurant is rated very highly.
First of all, he mimics his exclamation point game perfectly.
There are two things that I am really pleased about! Firstly, Emma and I never have to see you in Burnt Truffle again! You were vile! Secondly, that I was actually working in the kitchen at Burnt Truffle the evening you dined!
Turns out, this man's behavior was quite memorable.
I was able to support the team whilst they dealt with your onslaught. In fact, you Sir are the reason I was stood in a queue at a petrol station at 10:05 pm that night buying eight cans of Stella whilst questioning the human race!
Tiny sidebar: I love that English people say whilst.
“Worse pate I've ever had!” you said to Emma who was trying to run the restaurant that evening! “A disgusting mousse texture!” you said. “Why on earth was there not rocket?” you said! “I am an expert” you said. “And presentation is a joke!” you said!
The chef goes on to delineate all the rude and juvenile things the man said and did while dining at the restaurant.
I hope this serves as a helpful reminder that people who work in restaurants are human beings, and they should be treated as such.
Remember that — even if you are a sad man with an inferiority complex larger than the sun.