'Broga' Is The Official Yoga For All The Bros Of The World (Photos)
Being a bro is a terribly stressful and, honestly, deeply straining way of life.
To an outsider, it might look like it's all just popped collars and casual misogyny, but really, it's hard always speaking in a forced deep voice and finding the time to drink all day and do laundry.
So, what can bros do to relax? It's simple: Just pick up "Broga."
It's yoga, but it's for bros. It was invented by a brovisionary seeking inner peace, and it's the "The Manly Mindfulness Movement that's Sweeping the Nation."
This is definitely a real thing and not something fake, made to make people laugh.
Here are some of the most popular poses (Broga mat optional).
...Be the C.O.D. swimming up the river of your mind.
...The ball is your external spirit; hold it like a delicate golden egg. Feel the dead pig's life force on your fingertips.
Beer Pong Lunge
Your mantra: ......ponggggggggggggggggggg......
Reverse Weekend Warrior
...Turn your eyes to the sky, and feel the warmth on your chest as that shot of Georgi starts its quiet transformation into tomorrow's diarrhea.
...Your parents pay your telephone bill... And you have not been in a relationship longer than two months... You are a baby in a big boy's body.
Chest Bump Moon
...You gain energy from watching people play with balls.
...You have perfect balance... If the police pull you over, you will totally pass the drunk driver test before going to jail.
...No one knows why we do this... But still, we do.
Expel your toxins... Smell old burritos... And if you find yourself falling asleep with your head in the bucket... That is OK... Let it come.
Sh*tfaceasana (or Corpse Pose)
...See you next week, calmest of bros.