It used to just be I'd attempt to control the chaos and uncertainty of the human condition by simply collecting as many Pokémon as I could from the safety and stability of, say, a couch or a chair, or my bed at 5 in the morning as the sun rose and I still hadn't slept because I'd spent all night trying to evolve my Eevee into an Umbreon.
Well, now, with Pokémon Go, an app where you travel around trying to catch Pokémon in the real world, people everywhere are wandering around with their phones out, suddenly and irrevocably addicted to capturing fake, digital monsters wherever they are.
You can find Pokémon anywhere, meaning the urge to always be playing is immense.
Case in point: this one bank employee who received a very stern letter about him playing Pokémon Go too much at work.
First of all, boss person, it's "Catch 'em all" not "Catch them all," you fucking nerd.
Second of all, you could've just walked up to him and told him to stop; you didn't have to print out a graphic-heavy rebuke that would be extremely easy to make go viral (I would not be surprised if this was the plan all along).
Also, being a Pokémon trainer is a lifelong pursuit. You should be proud your employee is so committed to fulfilling his dreams. For a real trainer, there are no breaks. There are no vacations. This man is a hero.
Please watch this video to honor him.