One young man posted a Tinder conversation he had with a woman he matched with onto Reddit with the title, "Ever take a shitload of adderall and find yourself unable to shut the fuck up on Tinder? Stay tune -- We'll be right back."
This title is not an inaccurate description of events.
Here, we see a man so chemically focused, he uses all his mind's rapidly firing faculties to explain – in detail – the process by which he was fictionally or non-fictionally pegged in the butt hole with a strap-on by a perhaps made-up (but certainly harrowing) date.
Taking too much Adderall and going on Tinder is the worst combination since the American people put Bush and Cheney in charge of nuclear winter. (YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D GET POLITICAL, DID YOU?!)
Now, as a disclaimer, some people like pegging. (For the uninitiated, this is when someone porks a guy with a dildo.)
I hear it is an utter delight for some. But this young man fictionally or non-fictionally does not agree.
Let us begin this peculiar tale:
I can only assume they "broke the ice" when he was NOT high on ADHD medication, and was able to NOT immediately throw down a monologue on every subject.
He means, "I grew up next to a cello prodigy."
Also, I'm not exactly sure who "they" are in the sentence, "I was like six and they would push each other around the neighborhood in a stroller but naked."
But let's just move on.
He gets stuck on this cellist for a long time.
So, if you're new to Tinder, here's some advice: Talk about your Norwegian neighbors for an extended period of time. People like that kind of thing.
Oh, and there's more where that came from:
And then, this happens. I believe her phone autocorrected "teepee" to "pegging" (which is funny on its own, of course).
But Adderall brain didn't miss a beat. This guy flung himself into a long, elaborate and troubling story regarding his butt exploits.
Samantha is entirely unperturbed by the sudden telling of this story.
And that's that. There's no word yet about whether or not this Adderall convo worked out for this guy.
But on Imgur, the string of screenshots is titled "No unmatch so far." So perhaps this strategy works for some people.
On Reddit, someone had this great comment: