Stock photography is meant to represent daily life, but usually, the only things it succeeds at representing are the sad lives of out-of-work models and photographers who, in order to make their weird livings, resort to staging fake office holiday parties where, for some reason, everyone holds a knife.
But, the folks over at WNYC decided to see what it'd be like to make a series of accurate stock photos.
WYNC's Flickr account created incredibly on-point "New York City Stock Photos" depicting hilarious scenes from everyday life in New York City; if you live in New York, or if you've ever spent time in the city, these scenes will ring true to you.
And seeing as they are stock photos, I took the liberty of captioning them as I saw fit.
Lonely guy hugs the pole like a jealous lover, so no one else can
Desperate man, late for his child custody hearing, battles Citi Bike machinery
Woman confidently strolls through car exhaust gases, imagining everything is in slow motion, and she is in "Transformers"
Confused woman thinks the subway car is her bathroom (because she has seen feces and vomit in it so often)
Confused guy has some mysterious wet thing drop on him from the sky
Girl searches for her MetroCard in her bottomless purse, riffling through all the squirrel bones she keeps in there for good luck
Four ex-Christians pray to God no one touches their sweaty hands
Blessed guy gets a cab because he is farther up the street
Regular man needs 3 feet of room for his 3-foot testicles (he has a disease)
Two humans stand on the sweltering subway platform, hoping they might die and go to hell, where it will be less hot
Woman shouts at talking robot who refuses to stop showing her Jimmy Fallon interviewing Shia LaBeouf
A couple texts one another as they bump into things on the street
Citations: Realistic New York Stock Photos By WNYC Remind Us That We've All Been Man Trying To Figure Out What Just Dripped On Him (Bustle)