The money, the fame, the penthouse. The suits, the town cars, and most importantly, the drugs. We don’t need another Wall Street movie to tell us, yet again, exactly what kind of man is trading and buying our stocks.
He’s your local investment banker and he’s got as much of a stereotype as the guy you dated from the Brooklyn coffee shop.
Of course, it’s bad to judge based on stereotypes, and I’m sure there are a ton of investment bankers who aren’t lying, cheating pigs only out for their big pay day, but it’s just more fun this way.
I mean, men judge women all the time (and yes, I know there are female investment bankers, as well, and I’m sure they’re just as bossy and money-hungry as the men), so why can’t we judge them?
It’s time that we took a good look at the men and women who make the world go round, the money sing and open the markets. Because, on some levels, they are catches.
Of course, it depends what you’re looking for. If you don’t mind a man who trades his soul for money and works 100-hour work weeks, he could be the ideal partner.
For a woman who likes her alone time in a penthouse apartment, it’s the perfect situation. For a woman who likes expensive dinners over ringing cell phones and emails, it’s great.
Of course, this is for the ones who have paid their dues and made it big. For the younger ones, it’s longer work weeks, changing schedules and hazing. It’s the power trip to the top, slowly but damn surely, and you can be there riding their coat tails all the while.
So, if you’re still looking for that love of your life, the man to spend the rest of your days with, here are just 26 of the reasons you should think about dating an investment banker.
They come late and leave early.
You’ll always know where to find them… Check strip clubs in the four-block radius.
They know how to blow cash and drugs.
They know how to invest your time.
They really know how to screw you… They do it everyday.
They know how to put their money where their mouth is.
If you don't like them, you can trade them.
They're gold men in the sachs.
Their wallets are their thickest assets.
Their money clips work great for mirrors.
They always like to be on top.
They'll take you on a vacation, even if it's not down south.
When you break up, you can date his friend and it won’t seem any different.
Your day will always seem more fun than his.
They’d rather have an IPO than an "I Do."
They're always well-suited.
They’ll never pass up an argument.
They won’t let you forget who’s boss.
They’ll always take you out to dinner on someone else’s dime.
They don’t have time to cheat.
There’s always money if the toilet paper runs out.
They most likely have that Adderall script.
They’re always willing to tell you your value.
They know how to take orders.
They'll tell you which assets need more investment.
You always have access to a car, even if it's not theirs.
Top Photo Courtesy: Filmfetish