Last night, Showtime aired the 11th episode of the eight and final season of the hit show "Dexter," titled "Monkey In The Box." With only one episode left, we can't help but reflect on the series as a whole, and all we've learned from it.
"Dexter" was one of the most shocking shows on television that captivated its viewers for a little under a decade. The show has received numerous Emmy and Golden Globe nominations and wins for its outstanding acting, cinematography, sound-mixing and editing. While some seasons have clearly been better than others, the best undoubtedly being Season 4's Trinity killer, the show has remained consistently entertaining throughout its series run.
Aside from entertainment and shock value, the show has also taught us a lot of life lessons we can always hold onto once the show concludes next week. Here are 10 things we've learned from watching "Dexter":
Never move to Miami (Serial killers are a dime a dozen)
Sure, there may be great weather, a raging night-life and many of our grandparents, but who would want to live in a place with that many serial killers!? From the Ice Truck Killer, to the alleged Bay Harbor Butcher, The Skinner, The Trinity Killer, The Doomsday Killer, The Brain Surgeon, not to mention, Dexter himself, it seems like there are more serial killers taking their talents to South Beach than basketball players.
The importance of following a code
Dexter's father, Harry Morgan, a Miami Police detective who adopted Dexter at a young age, created a killing code that Dexter has lived by. Essentially, the code was a way for Dexter to channel his inner urges and impulses to kill. As a guideline for Dexter's survival, the first rule was naturally, "don't get caught." Other rules included, never killing an innocent, not making a scene and always faking emotion to fit in. While Dexter lived pretty vigorously by the code, he naturally found himself occasionally breaking the rules.
It's okay to wear the same shirt every day
Since the beginning of the series, Dexter has pretty much worn the same tight long-sleeved greenish brown 4-button shirt every night he went on a hunt. Whether he was trying to catch someone, break into a house or he was just tailing someone's car, Dexter has rocked the exact same outfit, as if straight out of Doug Funny's closet. How many of these shirts could he possibly have!?
Talking to dead people can get really annoying
Throughout the series, Dexter's father, Harry, appears to give Dexter advice and guidance from the dead. At first, it was an interesting concept that added another element to the show, but as time went on, it kind of just became a nuisance. It's almost comical how he just pops out of anything from backseats, to behind bushes, to murder scenes, just to point out the obvious. He's pretty much become that annoying friend who always feels the need to make a comment.
"Are you sure you want to do that, Dexter?"; "What about The Code?"; "Don't forget to wipe!"; "Who let the dogs out?" I've never had such an urge to kill someone who's already dead!
Breaking into homes is rather easy
Apparently no one in Miami ever puts a house alarm on? You'd think watching the local news and seeing a serial killer in Miami every other month, some people would possibly call up Allied or something. Throughout the series, Dexter is able to break into pretty much every house, condo, apartment or car without the slightest bit of trouble. If Dexter needed to make some money on the side, he could have made a killing (no pun intended) as a jewel thief.
There's no such thing as too much plastic
If you think supermarkets are bad for the environment because of their excessive use of plastic bags, you haven't seen a Dexter kill. Dexter covers entire rooms with plastic when setting up one of his signature kill rooms. From the floors, to the furniture, to the walls up to the ceiling, Dexter uses more plastic than Joan Rivers and Bruce Jenner's faces combined!
Inner monologues are therapeutic
When Dexter isn't talking to his imaginary dead dad, he's busy talking to himself. From the first episode of the series on, Dexter often has deep inner monologues that consist of him narrating everything around him. I don't think there's been a scene of Michael C. Hall driving a car that didn't consist of him talking to himself. If Hall is looking for another career, he should consider doing audio books. I'd drive around listening to it. I wouldn't be stalking people or plotting murders, but I ran over a squirrel once...
How to speak Spanish
Because "Dexter" takes place in the city of Miami, there have been a lot of Hispanic characters on the show. From Angel Batista, to Miguel Prado (RIP), to Maria LaGuerta (NO RIP), many of the greatest quotes from the show have actually been said in Spanish (or at least with a thick accent). Sure, everyone and their mother cheered when LaGuerta was finally killed (adios!!) but who doesn't wish Batista was their older brother?
Intro credits don't have to be boring
Easily one of the most popular and well done intro credit segments on TV, Dexter's opening credits have entertained fans for years. While most people naturally fast forward through a show's intro, I would guess most Dexter fans don't mind watching. It perfectly juxtaposes natural every morning images like cooking eggs, shaving your neck and flossing, with creepy music to give it the perfect eerie feel that epitomizes the show itself. We decided to have a bit of fun and mash this iconic intro with Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines." The result was pure magic:
#BloodLines: When Dexter Kills Robin Thicke... by elitedaily
Not every brother-sister relationship is the same
Dexter and Deb Morgan have one of the most bizarre brother/sister relationships ever seen on TV. While they may not have sex like the Lannisters ("Game of Thrones" reference), Deb does admit to being in love with Dexter in the 7th season. All incest aside, Dexter has pretty much caused more pain and death in Deb's life than most brothers could ever account for.
Yet, she still loves him. Sure, for a brief few episodes this season, she hated him, but thanks to a little help from good old Doctor Vogel, the two of them are best buds again! If their relationship isn't weird enough in the show, the fact that the two actors are actually divorced in real life puts a nice cherry on top of a very awkward sundae.
Bounus: Shout out to Vince Masuka for his unforgettable awkward one-liners.
Every police department should have a Masuka.