10 Bizarre Things Your Mom Thinks Will Happen If Weed Becomes Completely Legal

by The Kind

There are some people who fully support the legalization of marijuana. Unfortunately, your mom is not one of those people. She's convinced anything that could go wrong, will go wrong once weed is legal.

Don't believe me? Here are 10 things your mom is certain will happen if everyone can get weed whenever they want.

Everyone will end up on crack, meth, PCP and bath salts.

Your mom is absolutely positive weed is the key ingredient to you becoming a full-fledged junkie.

Once weed is legal, what's next? Crack? Sure! Bath salts? They'll sell them at Target! The stuff they inject into murderers during a lethal injection? They'll hand the stuff out to children at school!

No one will ever go to work, and we'll all get fired.

If you have access to weed anytime you want, obviously you'd do nothing but smoke day and night, and the economy would completely collapse. This is inevitable.

One single hit of that legal marijuana, and every career aspiration you had will flush down the drain. So long, 401k. More like a 420k!

We'll all become hardened criminals.

If there's one thing you've learned from the handful of clickbait articles your mom has forwarded you, it's that weed always leads to crime.

You smoke weed, and you instantly want to burn down a school. You hit a bong, and you start an underground dogfighting organization. You eat an edible, and you join ISIS. It's that simple.

It'll probably lead to the purge.

If weed is legal, why not just make EVERYTHING legal? Hey, why don't we just give everyone a night every year where they can smoke their doobies and murder with no consequences whatsoever?

Did you know every serial killer smoked weed probably?

We'll probably have a lot more hurricanes.

No real explanation for this one, but people found a way to blame hurricanes on gay marriage; so, why not incorporate legalized weed as well?

You'll get into a car accident and die.

Even though probably the worst thing you'll do while you're high is order Dominos at 11:00 pm on a weeknight, your mom is convinced you'll jump into the car and start ripping that legalized bong until the highway looks like "TRON" and you crash into a school bus, killing everyone involved.

You'll start physically abusing your significant other, for some reason.

It's a good thing something that causes lots of people to be angry and erratic isn't already legal and available at any convenience store in the country.

Oh, wait…

You'll start talking like Jim Bruer in "Half Baked."

Whenever moms do impressions of someone smoking weed, they always do a bad 90's improv character with squinted eyes and the speech pattern of the turtle in "Finding Nemo."

Every. Single. Time.

You'll die.

This is inevitable. You will smoke this legal Obama weed and, more than likely, you will instantly die.

And guess what? Where are all your stoner friends on the day of your funeral? They're nowhere to be found. They're all too high to get off the couch to mourn for you.

Is that what you want? Forgetful funeral friends?

You'll go to hell.

Everyone knows the Bible's stance on weed, and that is, if you smoke it, you are going to hell.

I don't remember exactly what book and chapter it's in, but someone definitely said that. Maybe Paul? Ezekiel? Was there a Rick in the Bible? I think Rick said it.

Yeah that sounds about right.

This post was originally written by Rob Fee for The Kind.

Citations: 10 Things Your Mom Thinks Will Happen If Weed Becomes Legal (The Kind)