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You'll Want This Banana Slicer After Reading The Hilarious Reviews

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When it comes to the products you never knew you needed in your life, random kitchen gadgets usually take the win.

I mean, sometimes I just don't know how the hell I made it through the past 23 years of my life without a soup ladle that looks like an adorable Loch Ness Monster lurking in my pots, and don't even get me started on what life was like back in the primitive days before self-twirling spaghetti forks came into existence.

Recently, another ingenious kitchen item caught my attention: the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer. Yep, someone invented a clever little gadget that cuts your whole banana up with one swift movement.

But, you know what's even better than a $4 slicer that will forever change the way you prepare bananas for your morning bowl of cereal?

The reviews people wrote about this thing on Amazon, of course!

That's right. It appears people had a lot to say about this slicer, so it would basically be an injustice not to share the buzz surrounding this bad boy. Try to keep your composure as you check out the hilarious comments people made about my new favorite kitchen gadget.

This is the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer...

Amazon

And based on its Amazon reviews...

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...this gem is clearly a kitchen game changer.

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I mean really, how did we all survive before the the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer?

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This thing will make you a banana-cutting master...

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...and it's basically going to forever change the way we all eat our favorite yellow fruit.

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People seem to be impressed with the slicer's ability to cut dick-shaped foods.

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With this item, you'll be able to say goodbye to your days of slaving over a hot banana like a damn peasant...

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Having to use a ruler to get perfectly even banana slices...

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Barbarically biting your bananas into smaller pieces...

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...and using your dirty ceiling fan as a banana cutter.

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If all that's not impressive enough, the slicer seems to be a pretty versatile product...

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That can really come in handy during home invasions...

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...and apparently works great as a makeshift brace for your "manhood." Really, who would have thought?

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Unfortunately, the slicer doesn't make a great substitute for sex toys...

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...but it will put an end to your days of being banana-shamed in public settings.

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Now, excuse me for a moment, I need to go go buy one of these things for every person I know.

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