Do you remember the original Four Loko? Having your friend's big brother buy you the highly alcoholic, caffeine-riddled sugary drink and then chugging them behind the local gas station?
Life was so simple back then.
But then those jerks had to complain and rip that disgusting drink off the shelves, just because some college kids got alcohol poisoning or something.
News flash, people: College kids will always get alcohol poisoning.
Well, we're adults now, so we won't be drinking Four Loko anymore. We have jobs, we have responsibilities, we...
We have Starbucks IPA and espresso now.
Starbucks has just launched this coffee and beer combo, and they have dubbed it the "Espresso Cloud IPA."
It is set to become a part of their "Starbucks Evenings" menu, which is available at only a few locations across the country.
The drink is composed of a cold shot of espresso, which is then poured into a glass of beer, and then it's finished off with a coffee froth head. The foam has hints of orange and vanilla.
The shot of espresso is served to the side of the IPA, but it's creator Justin Burns-Beach recommends you pour it into the beer.
The drink took a year's worth of research to create, which... you know, I could have done in about one minute if you handed me some coffee and a beer and told me to make a drink.
Don't want to sound cocky, but I'm pretty sure I would just chuck that espresso shot in and start chugging like a Jager bomb.
There are 440 Starbucks locations that will serve this beverage, along with beer, wine and small plates in the United States. Maybe someday Starbucks after dark will hit your local shop.
Until then, you'll have to go to Starbucks, order an espresso shot and then bring it to your favorite dive bar.