I wish I was at the meeting at the KFC headquarters when someone got up and said, "Hey, instead of putting fried chicken on pizza, let's put pizza on fried chicken!"
To some, this probably sounds like a good idea, but I think it's straight-up pizza blasphemy.
I mean, what's wrong with regular pizza crust? Why do we have to replace it with fried chicken?
Come on, KFC, leave the pizza crust to the professionals: Pizza Hut.
OK, so fried chicken crust pizza, also known as Chizza, made it to the Philippines last year, but it's making its way to Japan next week.
Soon enough, we could see it everywhere.
The Chizza box boasts, "No crust. All chicken," like it's a good thing.
Look, people, it's not like we're swapping out the bready crust of pizza for a healthier option.
Healthy pizza crust options include cauliflower, whole wheat bread, zucchini and eggplant. There are actually a ton of options better than bread, but of course, KFC needs to go the other direction by making pizza worse for you than it already is.
I'll just take the bread crust, please.
Also, can we talk about how Chizza is pretty much the exact same thing as chicken parmesan?
Did you really think we weren't going to catch that, KFC? I'll eat chicken parm any day, but let's just call it what it is.
Seriously, putting cheese and some tomato sauce on fried chicken and calling it Chizza is like if I put an omelet inside a burrito and called it a "buritette" or an "omlerito," when it's really just a breakfast burrito.
Also, by the look of these pictures, fried chicken looks like a lousy pizza crust.
Unless you want to cover your hands with cheese, sauce and grease, you'll be eating these bad boys with a fork and knife.
And no one wants to eat pizza like that. No one.
At the end of the day, I guess Chizza is just a perfect example of a fast food trend that simply won't last.
Because KFC will never be known for pizza. Just like McDonald's will never be known for salads.
I guess we can expect Chizza to hit America at some point in the future. As you probably would assume, I'll be avoiding it at all costs.