KFC's Scented Candle Will Make You Crave Fried Chicken
Yes, you read that right.
KFC has released a fried chicken-scented candle, but it's keeping it exclusively in New Zealand because apparently, KFC thinks the US of A has had quite enough fried chicken for one nation.
The candle is actually only being released for a limited time because if you're going give away a fried chicken-scented candle, it needs to cause a Black Friday-level of mass hysteria.
I, for one, am especially bummed because this is probably the most romantic gift I could've given to myself for the holidays.
Nothing says self-love like turning on Bruno Mars' "Versace On The Floor," filling the bedroom with the aroma of fried chicken and firing up the vibrator.
I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure any qualified therapist would co-sign that plan.
I am curious, however, if this limited release has more to do with our health than maximizing profits.
I mean, considering what actual fried chicken from KFC can do to your body, I'm a little suspicious of what it could do to the inside of my lungs.
Think about it: If you can get diabetes from eating fried chicken, imagine what you can get from breathing it. Popcorn (Chicken) Lung?
I'm so sorry. I COULDN'T RESIST THE WORD PLAY.
To get one of these candles, all people had to do was comment by Monday with ideas for future KFC merchandise.
The devoted customers who leapt at the opportunity to participate in KFC's idea contest pitched their hot new plans for Zinger Burger-flavored lip balm and bongs with names like the "Family Blazin' Box."
Both of those ideas are brilliant, actually. I hope whoever came up with them keeps chasing their dream.
Let's all just pray this candle becomes a regular thing because I can already feel the addiction to my KFC candle forming.
TBH, I'm pretty sure the only thing more addictive than this fried chicken-scented candle would be, like, a votive that emits crack fumes.